Hey Mr. Superstar
I'm your number one fan
Hey Mr. Sickly Star
I want to get sick from you
Hey Mr. Fallen Star
Don't you know I worship you?
Hey, hey, hey, Mr. Superfuck
I wanna go down on you
For Week Starting November 8th, 1999
Gothic Phreak
in gooseness my heart was won...
" If you haven't guessed it by now I'm the Gothic Phreak."
Thought you are the moronic loser of the week...
"I'm very gothic, as if you didn't know..."
You must be kidding! You are as gothic as Fidel Castro!
"I've been told that I'm and industrial goth,"
Bullshit, boy, bullshit! They've been told you that you are a mongo! You do not even know the difference between industrial and goth.
"but I think I take it further then just a look."
Shup up before I enter the next Concorde to come to beat you up! You do not even look gothic! In fact you look like just another boring high school kid I would never pay attention to on streets.
"I'm more of a compleat goth."
In my eyes you seem more to be a "compleat" idiot! LOL!
"What I mean by that is that I have a gothic personality."
WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK? Don't you want to say that you have a schizophrenic personality, you ridiculous chimpanzee?
"This doesn't mean that I'm some death freak."
No, this means that instead of a functional brain you only have a 1 bit memory chip in your head (running in single task mode of course!).
"It does mean that I spend a lot of time thinking. I also love to create things. I have created several levels for Duke Nukem, and some really freaky computer graphics."
Please re-initialize your system by pressing CTRL-ALT-DEL! I give a shit whether you create levels for Duke 3D, it means nothing to me. COME GET SOME, boy!
"I'm sixteen and I'll be seventeen this May 8th."
ARGH! Anyone interested in this shit? No? Okay, let's go on...
"I listen to anything from Marilyn Manson to Grieg. The only music I hate is country and some or most rap."
Oh God, if you are fake you are the worst fake I have ever seen. Even Satan's Whore has done it better...
"I said that I'm a loner, but I did get the guts up to go talk to a really hot gothic girl at this dance I went to. Now I have a girl friend who lives only four hours away. Her name is Jessica Williams. See so if I can do it anyone can."
Jesus, I wish you found a psychiatrist. The picture above shows you and your "hot gothic girl"? What's written on the two little pieces of paper? "Moron is looking for another moron to be even more moronic"? You are such a pain in my brain you couldn't believe.
And now let's have a look how our worthless loser describes "gothicness":
"You feel the need to spend a lot of time creating things (music, art, poetry, stories and the like) Your creative efforts are often described as dark, shocking, scary, morbid or strange You like museums and cultural centers You understand and even enjoy Shakespeare, Shelley, Browning or some other similar work without having to read the Cliffe Notes You know the difference between nihilism and existentialism, even if you don't really live by either You really, truely enjoy music of many kinds You are a very sensual person (aware of color, texture, sound, taste and scent) You don't understand why the people around you spend so much time watching TV You don't feel comfortable looking just like everyone else you know You do feel comfortable just being yourself, even if no one else around is anything like you You wonder "why" a lot, and come up with some interesting answers You wonder "how" a lot, and often figure it out on your own You don't just reject something because you don't understand it You base your opinions of people on who they are and what they do rather than what they look like You are not afraid of the unknown You are not afraid of the dark You are afraid of mediocrity "
HAR HAR HAR! What kind of nonsense is that? This blabla is more funny than "Problems only goths have". This is even better than reading a MAD comic. Please grow up, please get a life and please stay away from the gothic scene because I can't say what would happen if real goths see you...
This Goth Goose was nominated by Shawna.
Last but not least the thing you are always waiting for, the last words, my notorious Duke Nukem Rating: "It hurts to be you!"