Subject: GGotW
OMFG!!! Here I am, sitting at work with some free time, and so I go
surfing. Well, what do I stumble upon? GGotW. Hmmm... Could be
interesting. Let's see. WTF?!?!? I was ROLLING! I don't think I've
laughed so hard in a LONG time! So of course I have to go back and see
all of the old GGotWs.
Y'know, I *almost* feel sorry for these people. Almost.
Anyway, keep up the good work ;-)
Storm
Yours,
Hi Storm, thank you very much for your e-mail although I feel very sorry that you have to work at Christmas Eve. It would be very interesting for me to know how you have found the site. I hope you'll become a weekly visitor of these pages.
Straylight
Chris Herdt wrote on December 23, 1998:
Subject: one more thing...
why don't you put a definition of "goth" with the definition of "goth goose"?
seems to me that the look, music tastes, self-proclamation of goth
identity, are all pretty much integral parts of goth as I understood it.
Can a suburbanite child not be goth? Perhaps a goth goose should be "a
goth who is stupid and listens to marilyn manson." Or even "a young goth
who seems to be infringing or somehow tainting my own gothiness that I
must distance from myself by calling a denigrating name in order to save
my own fragile identity"? See, without the two definitions side by side,
it loses its power.
Yours,
Hi Chris, thank you very much for this suggestion but in my eyes there is a slight problem: I can't. :-) I think that the term "goth" cannot be described easily. Instead of a short definition I would have to write a long essay since many things are too important when you want to be a goth. Well, in fact and this is what my experience tells everybody describes "goth" on another way. Of course the look/outfit is essential - the music as well - but also a "certain" attitude towards society and life although goth has never been a political movement like punk. You see, all I wrote is nothing but a little introduction; certainly not a definition!
Straylight
Becca wrote on December 21, 1998:
Subject: I'm not alone!!!
I'm the only goth in my school and have been for the past three years. at
first it was hard for me to meet great people. When you live in a small city,
people don't accept whats different. I liked your site, you sound like a
great person. It's great to know i'm not alone.
Love,
Becca
Yours,
Hi Becca, thank you very much for the nice compliment and the support. You are not alone! :-)
Straylight
LncstrKids wrote on December 18, 1998:
Subject: [none]
I only found this oh-so-hysterical page about 3 or 4 weeks ago but sad and pathetic as I am
I've taken a look at all your past goth geese. I couldn't stay away! After taking a look at my
first goth goose Goth Woman and laughing so histerically at it
I had to take a peek at your other geese.
Although I have to admit that I was a bit frightened at first because I didn't understand the
concept of what a goth goose was and thought your site was actually paying tribute to these
loosers *shudder* I just wanted to say that your mockery of lame wannabee goths brightens
up my day when I'm feeling down. And thanks for putting these lamers in their place in such an
interesting and comical way.
Yours,
Hi and thank you very much for your support. I am very happy that I can brighten up your day when you are feeling down. This site is also a warning. It means: Never try to become übergoth but keep your personality.
Straylight
Pacia L wrote on December 14, 1998:
Subject: Jason Blake
Looks like another success. The link to Jason Blake's home page (in
jason.htm) takes us to some aol directory page, and looks like he's
closed it. Thought you'd like to know.
~Pacia
Yours,
Hi Pacia, thank you very much for informing me! Indeed, it looks like a success because when I checked his page today I got the aol directory page, too. Slowly we start to get rid of these damn Goth Geese... :-)
Straylight
Victoria Gwaed wrote on December 13, 1998:
Subject: HA HA HA
Love your page,
I remember Eiregoff's first page *yeesh*. I can't figure out how she got
gothbabe twice...
Anyway... good work!
Yours,
Hello Victoria. Twice? Oh my God, Cossack must be running out of real goth babes! Thank you very much for being a true fan of my site. I'll try my best to show you the best Goth Geese.
Straylight
Ivy wrote on December 12, 1998:
Subject: [none]
ok.... this is finals week and believe me....i am swamped with
finals to study for. the classes i take require at least a week of studying
in advance so that completely cramps my cramming session the night before like
the good ole days. and i must say you and your site have caused me to waste
a perfectly good studying day. i saw your site and was glued to it for HOURS.
never before have i wasted such a blatant amount of time and especially when
there is not enough time in the day. your creativity mixed with your flair
of patronizing had me laughing so hard that i thought for sure i'd go to hell if
i choked at that instance. your rude crude and live to belittle people that
are obvious morons and i love it. keep up the good work. i'll be checking
your site weekly now.
ivy
Yours,
Hello Ivy, thank you very much for your e-mail. I am feeling very honoured because you have wasted much free time just to watch my humble site. Instead of learning chemistry for university I am sitting in front of my computer again and work on the Goth Goose page as usual. :-) But since I like to belittle these simpletons so much I thought "Hm, why not?". I am happy that you want to visit my site weekly now because I do not run the site for me, I do it for people like you!
Straylight
Traveler Hawk wrote on December 10, 1998:
Subject: Thank You
It's been a boring week... I needed that.
I, myself have seen these people on the street but I had not dared laugh
because I have never seen the world from their side of the tracks (I've been
told "don't knock it till you've tried it... no thanks.). You've given me
idea's for next year's office Halloween party.
Take care.
Yours,
Hello Traveler Hawk. Thank you very much for your support. I am very happy that I was able to give you an inspiration for your next halloween outfit.
Straylight
Scheintod wrote on December 4, 1998:
Subject: [none]
Straylight,
I'm writing in regard to this comment on your goth goose page "(he's
German, knows enough of English to sound like he might know what he's
talking about but fucks up too many words and usually just sounds idiotic)"
That's a tad of an exaggeration I'd say..
I also think that Germans when speaking in English often have a similar use
of word structure, and it's actually rather cute.. :P
Btw, I'm aware that you being nomiated as goth goose was merely a joke... :P
Yours,
Hi Scheintod. Thank you very much for the e-mail. I have to say that I like very much this quotation. Since I can laugh at myself very well I know that these articles are not meant seriously but as I usually say: There's always a little Goth Goose in everyone of us, hehehe.
Straylight
Lylithe wrote on December 2, 1998:
Subject: Hello
Hi,
You may remember me from earlier...but who knows.
I just have one or two comments to make. I personaly am not goth but
like black clothes. Anyways. I play at "vampires" and enjoy it quite a
bit. I'm an actress and live action keeps me praticing at my improv. Oh
well. And your right, Type O isn't goth. I'd say it's more a getting
laid type thing.(don't try to misinterpret that.)
All I said,
Lylithe
Yours,
Hi Lylithe. Yes, I can remember you from earlier. Thanks for the comments. Type O sucks. :-)
Straylight
Noel Barton wrote on November 23, 1998:
Subject: you are a bit goosie too
Hey I would love to ridicule you and your tacky site, but I am really
busy at the moment. I may have some spare time at the weekend or next
week though. The goth goose site is quite funny. Some of the gooses are
hilarious, much worse than the ones on gothic reality check (I am on
there). That guy who wears make-up to work on a forklift truck, and that
Eurogoth, he he he, how I laughed. Have you ran out of goth gooses and
that is why you are nominating yourself? I will let you know if I find
any. I don't think I am quite goosie enough. I can apply make-up very
well which makes the girls jealous, but I have been wearing it four 4 years.
Anyway, see ya later, Noel
Yours,
Hi Noel. Thank you for your e-mail, too. Since I was busy I have already sent you a private reply and therefore I do not answer to your letter again now.
Straylight
Nightmaire wrote on November 23, 1998:
Subject: straylight... mcfuckingdonald's?!??
Yuck...Ick...Ptewww...bleckkky...
Well we get to see the man behind the goose pages. Oh, you are just too damn hilarious. I am embarassed to say that I have such a
pathetically boring existence that every week I tune in to see the latest victim. (Oh I don't have a page so I can rest assured it
won't be me anytime soon!)
I am wondering how much of your page is really you and how much you threw together for "Make fun of Straylight". I almost choked
at the photo in pseudo-Robert Smith hair and horrible white face - until I realized it was just to be a smart-ass, that is.
(sigh of relief!) "NOOooooo fucking WAY!??!!!" she screamed...
And as for the Spain photo, I don't "hate" it, but I think it would be a funny pin-up. Oh not *haha* funny, like you look funny, but
reminds me of Backstreet Geeks or Five or some crap I always heard on the radio on my stint in Deutschland. And can I add really
quick how it pisses me off to actually have to PAY for ketchup at McDonald's?! You could be one of those bitchy cashiers
who acted like you couldn't understand my meager attempts at ordering in German. (yeah, I know, how hard is it to say
eine pomme frittes und eine Royale mit kase?) (Did I mention I am retarded?) *LOL*
Okay now I lost the point here and I am just rambling on. Please Forgive. I guess I am just surprised that you aren't like a starving
artist or something like that, sulking about in your gothness. Like those annoying students in old Heidelberg, this one
chick in particular I can think of, doing that "live" mannequin / mime thing. Oh so super dooper fucking silly. Artistic and
neat in its own way, I suppose, but, uh, no, I don't think so...
I will close this horrifically boring email and end the torture for now. I will have to peruse your pages some more to come up with
some good goose commentary. Have to get my sarcastic wit fired up...
Thank you for all the laughs,
Nightmaire
Yours,
Hi Nighmaire, thank you very much for this funny letter. Hahahahahaha, i smiled often while reading it. Since I have sent you a private reply I will not answer to it again here.
Straylight
NyCiLa1547 wrote on November 18, 1998:
Subject: [none]
Hey! I have a good suggestion.. once a year you should have a Goth Goose of the YEAR
aLiCyN
Yours,
Hi Alicyn. Thank you very much for your suggestion. Maybe you don't know but this has already been discussed on my messageboard and the people have convinced me to let them vote their favourite Goth Goose King and Queen of the Year. I think in early Jan. 99 I'm going to make a special voting page so you can have your greatest Goose of 1998.
Straylight
-???- wrote on November 5, 1998:
Subject: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DAMN, YOU ARE FUNNY! I LOVE ALLLL YOUR GEESE, KEEP'EM COMMING,
PLEASE!!!!!!! I CAN'T QUIT LMAO!!!!
Yours,
Damn, how long have you listened to Marilyn Manson today? :-)
Straylight
Kyle Morgan wrote on November 3, 1998:
Subject: [none]
Well, Hello dear Straylight, I have kind of like to stay in the background but today I have something worth saying.
I think it is great to laugh at people who deserve it, or who kind of set themselves up, but I think you did something unusually mean..
You insult both girls and Black Pope (I know that was the point, but this was cruel.) You kept calling Erin a "her."
That was a guy, that had to be a guy.. there is no way around that, I never found the information regarding her/he/it's sex and facial
change, but maybe you can fill me in.
HEY! And girls rock, so don't blame us for Black Pope. :P
With all that said, thanks for comming back, me and Vhaedra missed you.
Truly True,
Dezdemona
Yours,
Hi Dezdemona, thanks for your e-mail. Unfortunately I have to say that Black Pope is a girl and belongs to your species. :-) I know it is cruel for all the true and nice girls out there but what would be with the world when there are no black sheeps? How can you find beauty when you don't know what is imperfection? And by the way: A Goth Goose is a Goth Goose, whether male or female or anything else, hehehehe!
Straylight
AkTsuchiya wrote on November 2, 1998:
Subject: whippee!!!!
You're back and functioning! Bitchin' man. I'm glad you are able to work
your webpages again. I can understand the frustration of having these
problems (my computer decided to have MS Explorer for lunch, so it doesn't
look like I'll be updating my webpages for a long time. stupid five-year-old
block of chips/dust) Keep those geese coming. You've got hundreds of little
mean streaks to entertain =)
take care,
Akane
Yours,
Hi Akane. Thanks a lot for your supporting mail. It is good to know that I am not alone with computer problems. *smile* My server got his upgrade to Linux 5.3 and now everything is running again (hopefully without new problems for the next weeks, hehehehehehe). I've got dozens of nominations so come back every week.
Straylight
R.WOOLRICH wrote on November 2, 1998:
Subject: Loved Your Page!
I'm of too advanced years to be goth and found your page by following a link on another, somewhat different page, but I must say I enjoyed your wit & parodying of the hapless geese. I don't think I have ever laughed harder at anything on the entire internet as I did at Cryptie's homepage. From time to time, a sense of pathos, of pity would almost cause me to be ashamed of my wild laughter at his expense, but then I realized that the man was actually a few (very few) years older than me so that I just gave up on trying to sympathize. It just wasn't worth the effort. Keep up the excellent work! If for some reason chemistry turns out not to be your forte, then you may have a future as a humorist.
Yours,
Thank you very much for your support. I appreciate that also "older" persons like my site and especially what I want to create. Well, with my 24 years I would not consider me very young anymore but who really cares? After 15 years Bauhaus are back again so how could life turn into a black world then? Goth has nothing to do with age. :-) Indeed, Cryptie's homepage is a shame for all gothic people but believe me: He gets what he deserves... That's what this side is for. :-)
Regarding chemistry: I'm studying this subject since summer 1995 and I think it is too late for me to change, hehehehehehehe...
Straylight
Suzie wrote on October 29, 1998:
Subject: feedback
Hey Straylight! Great to see the Goth goose page is back, and better
than ever, I haven't checked in a while, but I'm glad I did tonight, my
stomach STILL hurts from laughing, but I do have one correction for
you..On the goose for Aug 31st. "goddess of freak"'s page, you said
the following "I bet she does not even know that Anthrax created the
term "to mosh"" and I found this VERY, VERY disturbing...Anthrax most
certainly _DID NOT_ coin the term "Mosh" it was being used long before
those assholes came along and tried to exploit the New York Hardcore
scene in the late 80's. Now, I realize you're not from here (N.Y.C.)so I
can't really blame your misinformation on the subject, but Anthrax are
not and never were hardcore, nor were they ever accepted in the hardcore
scene (as would like everybody to believe) in fact they were hated
(especially Scott, and Charlie) with a furious passion...to the point of
a good majority of the people at cb's at the time waiting for them to
show up to kick the ever living shit out of them.Anthrax are and always
were a very sub-par heavy metal band.
Sorry for the rant, but HXC is something that was really personal to
me at the time, I'm sure you understand...anywayz, I'm going to bring
this to a close, You rule....and keep up the great work!
Thanks for informing me,
Hi Suzie. Thank you very much for your interesting article. Well, I know that Anthrax are not hardcore but belong into the heavy metal corner. You are right - I am not from N.Y.C. (uh, I thought everybody knows that I am a kraut) and in fact I have never been a very big hardcore fan but at least I know some bands from that style because I have listened to it in the 80'ies. One of my favourite acts (I never had a big "X" on my hand *smile*) was Youth of Today from the straight edge hardcore sub-genre. If I am right they could even be from New York. But back to Anthrax.... Of course I have never spoken to any of the band members :-) but all famous metal mags like Metal Hammer, Rock Hard and so on which I have read at that period of time wrote that the verb "to mosh" was invented by Anthrax as the lead singer always said on concerts "Mosh hard!" (LOL!) or "Keep on moshing" (ROTFL). Well, maybe I am wrong and in case I am I'll reject my remarks about "moshing" and "Anthrax".
Straylight
Lylithe wrote on October 27, 1998:
Subject: Hello.
I recently visited your web site and looked at the goth goose
nominations. I noticed that alot of the people there are just kids.
Kids will fool around with alot of different styles and goth just seem
s
to many of them to be a good one to piss your parents off with. I'm not
telling you that you should stop because many are whiners out for pity.
But take it easy, are people not aloud experimenting anymore?
Yours,
Hi Lylithe, of course they can do so. But if there is nobody telling them that they could be wrong the Goth Geese might think that it is okay what they are doing. And trust me, I don't take the whole Goth Goose thing so seriously as many people believe. :-) I know what a funny and successful life means...
Straylight
Amanda Mitchell wrote on October 2, 1998:
Subject: [none]
Ok, I am behind the times, but all I can say is YIPPIEEE! You are back. The flock of geese was getting a bit too comforatble while you were away! I am glad to see you resurrection. (written while humming I'm too gothic for my socks.)
Glad to have you back!
Yours,
Hi Amanda, thank you very much for another letter from you. As you certainly know I am also very happy to be back again in order to make people laugh out loud at painful Goth Geese.
Straylight
