Subject: loving you, darkly!
Darling Straylight,
At the suggestion of a dear, dear friend who is tired of hearing me wallow in
depression and grief amidst sexual angst, i found my way to your Gothgoose
page. I am absolutely sick with gratification and delight that there are more
sick, sarcastic and exasperated souls other than Bajema and i. This page is
a fabulous guilty pleasure, for you publish my very same feelings about the
majority of these wacky kids today... Give these geese a bomb, a gun, or
some black lipstick, and they'll find a way to fuck things up royale and
blame it on the genre they try to adopt! Keep up the inspiring work and keep
those laughs comin'...for as a very deranged man said to his even more
deranged compadre..."'I have to go poop now, and i'm going to do it in the
darkest way possible!'" Meet you in that good ol' Goth Sandbox...
Luvin' You Buddy!
~swish, swish~
Love,
XxLeiliaxX
Yours,
Hi XxLeiliaxX, thank you very much for your inspiring e-mail. It is a pleasure to read it. So I hope this site will get a weekly hit from you.
Straylight
R Sitter wrote on May 26, 1999:
Subject: [none]
This is the most brilliant site I have seen in ages, and a sure shot to laugh yer ass off. Keep up the good work!
Rachael
Yours,
Hi Rachael, thank you very much for your support and come back often!
Straylight
KatMistrss wrote on May 6, 1999:
Subject: Hello
I just wanted to email you about your Goth Goose page. I'm labeled
"goth" in my pathetic little suburban community, and although I can see why
that is, I don't label myself... which is why your page never fails to make
me laugh. I just wanted to tell you I love it ~ keep going!
Kat
Yours,
Hi Kat, thank you very much for your support. So if you are labeled goth by your community but you don't call yourself a goth it would be nice if you send a photo. Maybe for a new GGotW!??!?!? :-))))))))
Straylight
Grafvitnir wrote on May 2, 1999:
Subject: [none]
This is in response to an old goth goose. Her name was Altara. heh...I swear
to god you goths couldn't get even more ignorant. She's not even trying to be
goth. She's metal...hence the name of the page "Black Metal Rose Garden". Not
"Goth Rose Garden". You should really study your subject before laughing at
them. I do know Altara...maybe she will come off as a goth at first but she
is in no way what you call a "true goth" or even what you call a goth goose.
Yours,
Well, I do not really mind. I take every black dork which looks pretty ludicrous. By the way, thanks for the nomination.
Straylight
Karina wrote on May 2, 1999:
Subject: [none]
This page is the most hilarious thing i've seen on the net in a while....poor morpheus guy, he's not ugly, but he needs some serious guidance, perhaps someone can asist that little lost soul...hehe Anyways, congrats on the cool page, ppl need to lighten up a bit, no need to be offended by the page, just laugh it off kiddos...
karinna
Yours,
Hi Karina, thank you very much for the support.
Straylight
lilithstar wrote on April 30, 1999:
Subject: !!PROPS!!!
I love your page darling, I han't laughed that hard in so long!! I like how
you deal with idiots!! I think the only reason people E-mail you bad shit is
because they're fucking dorks so the defend they're kind. Hell they could be
next!!! hehehehe
*kissssss* tah tah
Yours,
Thank you very much for your letter. Although I make a lot of fun of my Goth Geese I would never call them idiots. Well, they might act like idiots :-) but I think there is still a little difference.
Straylight
Jane A. Kelley wrote on April 30, 1999:
Subject: [none]
You know, I have to confess....I actually enjoy the hell out of this page.
I was sort of stunned when I was elected a goth goose last year--especially
when I looked through the ranks of other goth geese. But, you know what? I've
come to enjoy my award. I even placed it on my awards page.
The GGotW site is really pretty funny, and I've come around. Hallelujah.
I think when I saw "Goth God" as your Goose of the Week (and this was after
he'd been e-mailing me and trying to get a date with me...ARRRRGH! If I
weren't gay before, Goth God would have been a good reason to make the
switch!), that was the real turning point for me....because I KNEW that guy
was a loser. And I just about pissed my fishnets when I saw Cryptie, Goth On A Forklift.
--"Lucretia, Queen Of Goth (Not!)"
A Proud Goth Goose (May 25, 1998),
a former decrier, and current giddy goose fan.
Yours,
Hi Lucretia, thank you very much for your e-mail. I'm very glad to hear that you have changed your mind and that you can enjoy the GGotW now. You know, I don't really run the site to insult people and flog them dead. And even when I talk/write bad about the people I do not dislike them. All I say is "Tolerance, not acceptance!" and in no way my aim is to change people. When they change it is nice (and interesting to see what has happened) but it is not the thing I want to do.
Straylight
Scytal wrote on April 27, 1999:
Subject: About Morpheus
I must say, he isn't the sort of person I'd like to meet in a dark alley.. or on a beach at noon either!! Looks mean... and with the shit he says he's got a few screws loose.. And you know what they say, don't wage war on those who have nothing to loose. ... You certainly do deserve Mau Basts "Biggest balls on the net award". hehe
One thing though, that "MagicK" thing you commented on is a card game, I believe... There's also a card game with vampires... forgot its name though.. Maybe its just called vampires? I'm not sure... I don't socialize much anymore.. too many freaks in black nowadays... so I'm not aware of the new commercial trends targeting young spooky kids.
>Oh God, "sex magick vampires goths", these are the four magick (LOL!) words I love >so much! Morpheus fits the goth cliché so fine that you might think it's only fake. I bet >you do know nothing about magic (me neither - what the fuck is magic?), vampires, >goth and even sex. Otherwise you wouldn't mention it all the time. Poor loser!
I like his "Stranger In A Strange Land" poem.. although the title is from U2 :o) I also feel I don't fit in sometimes. Its obvious he didn't have much to say. It was like that for me as well when made my first sketch of my page... I mostly wrote crap like "Sex: yes please!"... Its only on the fiftieth revision that my true feelings started to shine through (and it still isn't good enough). I guess this is his first initial draft.
Actually.. I feel you judged him too harshly. Sure, the vampire stuff is cliché.. but that only because he isn't telling us why he's into it. I always loved the old dracula movies. Something very erotic or romantic about it actually. Sort of like lover and mistress.... a deadly kiss.. In fact, the first vampire movies are what broke the censorship in movies.... they couldn't even film a kiss without it being considered "pornographic" then.. oh well.
I like the crow as well. It sort of how I feel sometimes.. You know, when your in love with someone who doesn't love you as well.. you give her your entire life.. go out of your way without even expecting something in return... The scene when, I think in was "Shelly"? came back to fetch him in the cemetery.. made me cry... But then, I cried during Anastasia :o/ Guess it aint much of a reference then! :o) And I'm sure your wondering what the Crow has to do with one way love? I probably dosent have anything to do with it at all.. I just feel it does.
People connect in strange ways. Love is strange when you think about it. We associate things to what we feel... and unless you feel like I do and for the same reasons, you'll most likely never understand the association. You should consider this before judging people the way you do you know... Granted his page is poor.. But then, at least there's not pesky frames!! :o) He's probably busy elsewhere and hardly works on his page. Anyway, what do you care? You needed a goose, he was available, end of story...
I babble don't I?
Funny though.. I started out agreeing with you and calling him a freak, now I'm defending him.. Ack... What else will I do wrong today?
Yours,
Hi Scytal, thank you very much for your interesting letter. I think it is pretty cool to tell something of yourself in order to describe or make us Morpheus understand better. But as you said: I needed a Goth Goose and he was available. :-) By the way, "Stranger In A Strange Land" is a song from Iron Maiden, too!
Straylight
Melvaig wrote on April 27, 1999:
Subject: Ain't mockery grand....
Nice. I'm not a regular wannabe goth basher, but sometimes it's fun to
indulge. Pretty awesome site, but I have one complaint. As a wiccan I
practice "magick". People like that little shit you featured give magick a
bad name, but it is a fundamental part of my religion. I'm not goth, nor do
I drink blood or live only for raves and to wallow in my own pitiful
existence, but magick is a part of my daily life. Maybe your little "(LOL)"
wouldn't have bothered me so much if you actually took the time to look in to
what magick is about and then thought it was grade A crap, but don't knock it 'till you try it.
I think I'm done with today's rant.
Melvaig
Yours,
Hi Melvaig, the reason why I laugh at anything that has to do with magic is that there is no room for it in my life. I'm just too scientific for such things...
Straylight
D. Coil wrote on April 26, 1999:
Subject: [none]
O jeeze, I have to say it...Morpheus is the single most depressing goth goose yet...know why? He looks like he has to be in his twenties, and his spelling and grammer is excecrable! Why doesn't he get a fucking PROOF READER???? Fuck sake, i can't believe how pathetic his spelling is! He needs HOOKED ON PHONICS...BIG TIME. I know its not nice, I mean a lot of people out there have reading disabilities, but fuck....INVEST IN A DICTIONARY IF YOU'RE GOING TO PLASTER YOUR WRITING ON THE WEB!!!!!!! If I had the money, I'd buy one for him! I am absolutlely mortified for him. Ah well, maybe he'll read this, and get a proof reader and fix that shit up. I don't EVEN wanna get into how shitty the content is...
...D.Coil
Yours,
...exactly what I think! :-)
Straylight
jmarroq wrote on April 22, 1999:
Subject: [none]
Hi just stumbled on to your page. Happy Birthday. I just wanted to let you know that i am saved. JESUS died on the cross so that i could be saved from my sins! JESUS LOVES ME!! and he also LOVES YOU. HE is the LIGHT and THE WAY! JESUS IS MY LORD AND SAVIOUR! You are wonderfull!
Yours,
Just four words: Thank you very much!
Straylight
Jeri wrote on April 21, 1999:
Subject: ???????
Just wondering.What exactly is the Goth Philosphy? I've heard that the kids
who shot those other kids in Colorado were "goth",but after reading some I
doubt it. Please enlighten me.
Yours,
Lol, "Trenchcoat Mafia" is goth? :-) Well, here in Germany we have heard of this "thing", too. Well, if you want to know my attitude towards what's goth or not please read the other mails. If you want to hear a simple explanation from me I have to say: I can't.
Straylight
Ataraxia wrote on April 21, 1999:
Subject: [none]
Well I like you're site a lot. It's very entertaining and I get a good chuckle out of it when I visit. However
I couldn't help noticing that you seem to have this thing against "teeny-goths". It seems to me that you
have this steriotype of teenage goths that isn't very flattering. And okay I admit that a whole heck of a lot
of teenage "gothics" out there are pretty much lame-ass wannabees steriotypes have to come from
somewhere right. But remember there are the few of us who don't give ourselves white face makeup
worship Maralyn Manson or give ourselves stupid "vampyric" names while focusing on trying to force
the whole world beleive they're truly gothic. I don't mean to bitch- I just wanted to remind you that there are
those few of us out there however younger who are real goths, too.
Thanks for taking the time to listen, Straylight. On the whole I think you're a pretty cool guy
Ataraxia - age 16
Yours,
Hi Ataraxia, thank you very much for your e-mail. I have nothing against teens or younger goths because I have been young, too. I just dislike the above mentioned overdosed teenie goths you describe. I have never said or intended to say that young goths are childish goth wanna-bees. The only thing as you have already noticed is that most of the teen goths are just painful. Hope you'll continue visiting my site and don't feel attacked when I speak of teenie goths.
Straylight
dextra blind wrote on April 20, 1999:
Subject: [none]
you seen very content in putting people down for the way they dress (yet you show no picture of yourself) you have not given any real definition to the term 'gothic' all you seen to be able to do is trash people for what you feel is there pathetic attempts. you have not offered any history or thoughts on what you feel the kind of person who is deserving of the term 'gothic' should be. all your doing is making fun off people for there pictures and not even there attitudes (that's not productive). instead of trying to get people to take down there web pages, why not just take the time to explain to them what the fuck you think 'gothic' is (if you know?). all you seen to be able to do is provide humiliation, (for people who look like they have had enough of it) tell them what they are doing..... and why do you care if these people dress the way they do its there life. maybe they don't have resource you might have. its just there own definition what they believe 'gothic' to be, i'm sure that at some point in you life you had no clue either, just give them a break. oh yeah and how do you manage to so nicely wrap up what bands are 'gothic' and what are not, like its the defining fucking part of a persons personality. its not rite to trash people for what they look like, isn't that something Goths are against? thanx
*DEXTRA*
Yours,
Hi Dextra. Thank you very much for your criticism. I want to make some things clear. First of all there exist photos of me in the WWW. You can even see two of them on this site (although one of them is faked). Besides I don't want the people to take their pages down although I always write "Yet another success..." or to change these people as this is not my task. And above all I have no explanation what gothic/goth really is as in my opinion this style is too complex too describe. On the other hand I just love mockery and therefore I like to say that they are not gothic. About bands: Even you will agree that MM is not gothic! Maybe I should say that GGotW is not only for joking at overdosed übergoths but also for laughing at non-gothic spooky kids.
Straylight
BoytronicX wrote on April 16, 1999:
Subject: Regarding Straylight...
Well, i was rumaging through your page, after someone suggested i go see that
Purp is on there.. and, when i thought that was all the scariness i could
handle for one afternoon... then i saw Straylight. All i thought was
"?!?!?!"... I was dumbfounded! I mean, sure, i'm a professional makeup
artist, i don't expect everyone to have near perfect makeup, but sweety, i
sympathize when you don't want to put that white paste makeup on your ears,
it can be quite bothersome... but furthermore.. if you're going to spend all
that time spreading it onto your face, you might want to take another second
and slop some on your 2nd chin as well. Just a suggestion sweety.
Yours,
Hi BoytronicX, thank you very much for your help but as it seems to you haven't noticed it, yet: The makeup photo of me is fake and its intention is to look horrible. I never use makeup and the picture was only taken to make a very ridiculous Goth Goose photo of myself.
Straylight
Natalie wrote on April 16, 1999:
Subject: hi
i was surfing the web and i came across the "goth goose of the week" and i
decide to take a peek at some that were chosen. I will admit I laughed at
alot of the things they said about people...
then I saw the blinking name and clicked on it, and i saw the LONG LONG list
of things they said about you. I'm sorry they did that to you. i mean,
joking around only goes so far.
I feel bad that they did that to you, it was just wrong...
Natalie
Yours,
Hi Natalie! ??? Well, I love the list of mails that were sent to me in order to make fun of myself. Actually I have asked the people to write something mean and funny about me and I have to agree with most of the things they said. They wrote many many true things about me so why should I be sad?
Straylight
The Weller Family wrote on April 16, 1999:
Subject: hello.
Well here's the thing - i love the idea behind the page and have to agree you've managed to dig up the dregs of the "goths" out there but i find it sadly ironic how many grammatical spelling errors i ran into on your own pages while reading your critiques of the others. I generally roll my eyes at mistakes like "its" vs. "it's" and move on but if the person making the error is spending massive amounts of time hunting for errors in other people's pages it just is a bit too much to ignore. Personally i imagine the photos and quotes straight from the pages themselves are more than enough entertainment and sometimes the most stinging criticism is to simply let their own stupidity shine through. I'm glad i stumbled across your site though as i've already checked out all of the Catty Goth's past gothic reality checks and was feeling rather empty.. and mostly bored. So thank you.
-heather who never quite saw the point of making up some silly little "gothic" name to go by sorry
Yours,
Hello Heather, thank you very much for your positive criticism. I don't know if you are already aware of this thing but English is not my native language (I'm a poor German lamer) but there are a few things I would like to mention. First of all I really know the difference between "its" and "it's" (I *always* read my texts at least twice so the only explanation is that a) I typed too fast (always with my ten fingers) and that b) probably I did not pay enough attention to my text) and the other thing is that my nickname "Straylight" has no gothic background. It is from "Neuromancer" - a novel by William Gibson. Besides I always sign e-mails with my first name (as you can see). Thanks again for your help. I'll try to pay more attention to my grammar.
Straylight
Laura wrote on April 15, 1999:
Subject: hello.
Listen asshole, I am only e-mailing you to give you a piece of my mind. I
don't even know who the fuck you think you are talking about people not
looking goth(and by the way all of those people on your page who don't have
home pages, how the fuck do you even know if they are trying to be 'goth'?).
You don't even look one bit goth asshole!(I am not saying this because I am
goth, because I am not, I am only saying it because you are fucking lame and
think YOU are goth yourself =]) you look like you are trying to be some kind
of lame-ass gothing pimp! Which is so totally not funny, because it's just
gross. If I ever met you, I think I would laugh in your face. Not only
because you are lame but also for, #1. Being a hypocrit, and #2. Being a
total fucking moron. Listen to me asshole, one bit of information I have to
give you is that you should stop criticizing until you know what the fuck you
are doing, who the fuck you are talking about, and until you are goth
yourself, QUIT IT! The only lame-ass on your page that's being laughed at is you.
Signed with all love and concern,
Laura.
Still loud laughing at you,
Hohohoho, I am so happy now because I love people like you get excited easily. In fact I can laugh even harder now. Damn, I am lame because I love mockery. This is a nice idea for a new banner. #1 I am übergoth. #2 I admit that I am an egoistic asshole. #3 I have a strong backbone. #4 I do not care what other people say about me (except for some close friends). #5 I know better ways to insult people than you do.
Straylight
NocturaI25 wrote on April 12, 1999:
Subject: HEY!!!
Hey WTF?!....People work hard on these damn web pages..An you are going to
make fun of them..Well for all the people I read an you talk about..FUCK YOU
BITCH!!..What the fuck give you the right to fucking make judgement on
them..Let make a deal on your web site..Its fucking dumb..Goth
Goose?..WTF?..Is that?.A goose who lays ugly ass eggs?.Or some shit?..If you
want to make that type of judgment then look in the mirrow..An tell me what
do you see..An if that you on your page..You look like aloney bitch with a
fucking life..So go get one an STOP..Fucking doing what you are doing..How
would you feel is somebody done that shit to you?It would suck..Just like
your web page...Well see you around?..Have a nice day...=)..
^v^ NocturaI25~v~
Yours,
Hi Noctural, you spooky bat-fucking piece of boredom. a) When some people work "hard" on these webpages, then they should work harder. It' so easy: If you can't do things right, don't do them at all. b) You are too dumb to realize that my regular homepage could be made only for GGotW and this could explain the bad layout. c) Don't you know any other word except for "fuck" to insult me? Poor you! d) How I feel when a person does the same to me? I could either laugh at it or ignore it because I have a backbone. This is something you probably haven't. e) Learn English!
Straylight
Altoids Bystrak wrote on April 11, 1999:
Subject: fun!
hey! i just wanted to say that you have a great site-quite
entertaining, for even the non-goth! i have a goth best friend(im not
nominating her!) who has showed me your site and i love it! im not
quite sure what i am, just a mix i guess. and don't be so hard on
yourself (sorry i am a cheerful one) youre cute! for a computer nerd
(just kidding!) but there is someone i would like to tell you about-
there is VERY little goths in my school (damn preppies) and she fits
all the criteria:she's a punk/goth hybrid, very artsy, quite morbid,
works at Hot Topic, hates everybody, thinks she is the only
'enlightened' one, and in a word-BITCHY! perfect for a goth goose- i
will attept to find a picture of her and send it to you. i would love
to be the one who gets people to see her true self!
-altoydz :)
Yours,
Hi Altoydz, thank you very much for your support. I'm looking forward to get the nomination from you. I can promise you that I work hard on GGotW although there are many other important things to do in real life. I'm really not (I hope, hehe) that computer-addicted as many people think. :-) Hope you come back again.
Straylight
