Subject: post this!!!
fuckin cool page, i must say. lord do i hate all of the
little spooky kids. i have to see them day after day at my school in
their black jeans, black t shirts and black trench coats...and I'M
mistaken for one of them constantly...dammit, I HAVE INTELLIGENCE, I
HAVE PERSONALITY, AND I HAVE ORIGINALITY. i have a 1220 s.a.t. score and
i am going to college, unlike the "oh-so-goth" kids who have to drop out
of HIGH SCHOOL because they are so "tormented" and "harassed"....stop
moping around and get a fucking backbone! although i do not hate
marilyn manson, i do realize that he is not god. so anyway i think i
have made my point...i'm almost tempted to send a pic of myself "all
gothed up" so that i can be a goth goose...hehehehhehehehehheh....see ya
--oooooh I'M A RAVER! (a goth sin...)
Yours,
Did you really think I'd like you? Triscele, you seem to be a fucking weirdo but I have to say: I like it! You are even on a sicker ego trip than I am. Well, black jeans and black tshirts and black trench coats don't make oneself a spooky kid but a stupid look does. And since I have seen the stupid ravers at the Love Parade in Berlin/Germany with their horrible green and orange hair, their yellow-green lipstick and their red dresses I can guess what kind of person you are... A xtc-speed-shit addicted gabbajunkie!!! Hahahahaha! It is pretty difficult to choose what the world needs less: some annoying American spooky kids or a lot of dumb worldwide techno suckers who are only happy when they can move their feet to disgusting house, techno, hardcore or whatever kind of shit rhythms. At least we do not differ about the spooky kids, both of us hate them! Change your music style! Anyway, nice comment! Although we are completely different I want you to kick the spooky kids from your school in their ass!
Straylight
Dr. Pain wrote on December 8, 1997:
Subject: Allgemeines wie geht's/ super goth goose mail :)
EIREGOFF topt sogar den guten Kafka.
Ich denke, ich muesste meine 91 KG in nen ganzkörper-
PVC Catsuit zwaengen und alles was ich ueber Geschmack und
Musik weis, vergessen um sowas topen zu koennen.
Ersteres ist noch machbar aber mit zweiterem schauts
schlechter aus :)
Aber genug von diesen "seltsamen" Ideen.
Mach weiter so und falls ich nicht mehr drandenke,
ein frohes Weihnachtsfest (Es lebe der Kaufrausch)
Dr. Pain aka. U. W.
Dein
Dr. Pain, mal wieder vielen Dank für einen Kommentar über eine weitere Goth Goose! EireGoff sieht wirklich mehr als lächerlich aus für einen Goff. Aber darum ist sie ja auch eben nicht gothic sondern nur ein armes Kind mit einem fürchterlichen Geschmack, der wirklich schwer zu überbieten ist! Vielleicht wünsche ich mir zu Weihnachten eine Prise weniger Menschenverachtung und dafür etwas mehr Liebe zu meinen Mitmenschen... Aber dann wäre die Welt nur noch halb so lustig, und ich bekäme keine Drohbriefe mehr...
Straylight
Julye wrote on December 7, 1997:
Subject: goth goose critque
I haven't laughed so hard for a long time...
However, its unfortunate to see that the goth style is being slandered
and the name has taken a fall. To have them associated with the style is
somewhat embarrassing. I fully agree with your statement:
"Hell, I give a fuck whether you consider me
gothic or not. Gothic is not what you portray on
the outside, gothic is how you feel on the inside."
It makes a world of difference; people should stop fooling themselves.
Behind these walls, a soul grows cold.
Shed your makeup and this behold.
Check out the Tamagothi homepage for some more laughs concerning goth
evolution...or should I say regression.
the hunt is on...
Julye!
Yours,
Thanks for e-mailing and supporting the Goth Goose site, Julye. It is true, gothic is not the style anymore which it had been before all the spooky kids and overdressed "We never laugh in the public"-goths have come. This is a very sad step into the wrong direction but I am not really in the mood to do anything to change it! Let current gothic die and have a melancholic remembrance of better goth times...
Straylight
Tatiana wrote on December 4, 1997:
Subject: (no subject)
Just when I thought you would never find anyone to top
"Kafka", you find Eirie Goth. Ha ha! I went to her stupid
homepage. It's so wrong. Who is SHE to bitch about other goths?
At least we can SPELL! I mean, besides the really obvious stupid
on purpose stuff. I guess she is proud of not being able to spell.
It makes her more "goff". All of her "fwiends" are really stupid looking
and so is she! If I were that overweight I would NOT dress
the way she does. I mean, I know a lot of people who are
overweight, there is nothing wrong with that, but there is
nothing that she has that *anyone* wants to see! Ugh. And how
can she bash Christian Death? They are like the Original
Goth. They are more depressing than really old country music.
And then she goes on to bitch about people who call her a vampire
because she wears all black. Well, dearie, it kinda comes with
the territory. What did she think? This "goth" sucks! Oh, and
so do all her clothes and her entire collection of pages.
Oh, I'm so cool, look, I have a bunch of pages! She must have
been picked on a lot in school. "Eirie Goff", I'm sorry that
we're all "gothier" than you, but I wouldn't take offense
if I were you. After all, that's what landed you here! Get off
yourself. You are WRONG.
*hugs*
Tatiana
Yours,
Hard words which come out of your mouth, Tatiana, but I guess you already know: You are absolutely right!!! EireGoof is just like a climax in the world of the goth geese. EireGoof and the word "goth".... This is really a big laugh! Everybody knows that Kafka is more than a goose, he is even the alpha and the omega of all what being a Goth Goose means but EireGoof is of the same quality as well. If I didn't hate goth pages like hers so much I would love them for all their lameness, haughtiness and arrogance. I love you, Tatiana, and I hope I will get more e-mails like this one from you!
Straylight
Lillith wrote on December 2, 1997:
Subject: 25??
Hello again!
Now straylight... play nice... You don't have to be over 25 to get it....
Lillith
Yours,
Subject: eiregoff
Umm... I was wondering if you would possibly list the nomination of
thugz n kissez...
Yours,
Subject: (nUranus o subject)
Your page makes me very happy. I'm not goth, That is I MAKE NO
Hypocritically yours,
Yours,
Subject: Man, oh man.
I don't like sending email through a stupid browser. But, man. I had to
What a fucking page, man. I've seen some weird looking kiddies around
You beat me to it.
Smirk.
He's quite the spectacle.
Yours,
Subject: (No Subject)
Hey, your page is really cool!!!! I am a 28yr old female "goth" who has been in the
With best regards,
Subject: [none]
well nail the meek to a cross and call them Jesus, months without net access, and then finally get back to see this, and now I'm going to be crippled (due to muscles strained laughing) Nevre, should be Never!, never allowed to take another breath and exhale it with the word Goth shaped by "it's" mouth, and then Gale, who the hell let the Michelin man play with the black ink refill. So much do they resemble the tossers from here in Brisbane Australia that call themselves Industrial Goths, It's not a hatred of those who are developing a new strain, fuck let em do it, but firstly, walking past a Marilyn Manson shirt at a record store does not constitute the right to call yourself industrial and certainly not Gothic, and as for Georges comment on the 15 year age stage, I'm 27 now and when I was 15 putting on a white shirt, black jeans and a dinner jacket, was dressing up, bring back the days of the adams family (band not the tv show), Karl (fields of the nephilim) with dust and dirt, and a bunch of too pissed to two step gothics, all rolling around a dance floor, instead of something that looks like it went into a rave in scrap metal yard that just happened to be near a cemetary and a pvc factory....and no I don't have a home page for you to discern, but once I get to it feel free to take the piss out of yet another surly old bastard that thinks the youth of today wouldn't know a real Goth if one hanged themselves from their light fitting...
Yours,
Subject: [none]
Hm. At first I thought this might be funny but it's a wee bit too venomous to be passed off as mere satire. Reminds me of the bullies in middle school who used to mercilessly taunt those they decided, according to some obscure "bully" criteria, were not worthwhile people. Their rebuttal to the outrage of their victims was invariably, "Whatsamatta? Can't you take a JOKE?"--which is a lame cop-out. Jokes are supposed to be funny, and your page really isn't all that funny. My guess is you needed a socially acceptable way to belittle people and get away with it. There are, admittedly, a few amusing bits, but those are few and far between--I never really got my kicks out of mindless insults anyway. Hey, do you like the Jerky Boys, by any chance? Nevermind. There's a much funnier "make-fun-of-goths" page called the Gothic *********** of the Week (I do not support it; censored... Straylight) page, and it doesn't have any dripping blood or spinning skulls, either. You should check it out--it's hilarious, and it! actually IS a joke. Apart from the content of the page, I think your web design skills may need a little more work. Just a little constructive criticism. Oh, and a suggestion: you should let your victims defend themselves. It would probably be funnier that way. Or were you not aiming for funny?
With best regards,
Subject: This Goth Page
Hello. I am Oengus, and I can't really say I am a Goth at all, I was
Yours,
Subject: Thanks!
I really needed a good laugh! I think I almost hurt myself when I saw
Yours,
Subject: goth goose hunting grounds... ha ha
Hello again!
Once again, you have done it.... this guy is pretty lame.. I don't
I wasn't sure wether to laugh, cry, or puke! hee hee....
Love,
Yours,
Subject: goth goose of the month
Call me what you will but I like reading the negative letters about your site.
With best regards,
Subject: Monk Robes
The only thing more ridiculous about the goth goose Tom and his monk
Hey lets all paint a few pounds of make-up on our faces and look like
Ah well at least there's one good thing about this, it gives me more
Cheers,
Draekal
Yours,
Subject: goth goose of the month
I know I already emailed you from AOL last night...at least think i did...at any rate I love this page.
necroangel
Yours,
Subject: Dear Marcus: for your comments page.
Dear Mr. Straylight,
I'd not realised there was a comments
One of these days you might just wake up
In the meantime -- continue the good work
Anyroadup, I can't really be arsed with
Best regards,
By the way, your e-mail is really cool and I LOVE it. Finally you got a sense of humor... I would be happy if you link my side to yours!
Yours,
Subject: Goth Goose
I see that my boyfriend (Jeffrey Sopko) already wrote to you. I wanted
Kimberly.
Yours,
Subject: *cackle* Stray you rawk...
damn Stray that is definately one of the better pages I have viewed in a
*still laughing my ass off here....*
Yours,
Hahahahaha! I am the bad boy of goth'n'roll, don't you know? I spit on rules and everything what the so-called "goffic" society wants me to do! The more goff people hate me the better I feel! *bg*
Straylight
Helen wrote on December 2, 1997:
"Twacy"/EireGoof as by Emmaleen and Helen (me being helen *g*). It
would go so much farther in pissing her off... Twacy that is... I do
see her occasionally, when she dares to drag her skanky butt down to
Atlanta to get laughed at... Please please please??? I know I didn't
actually nominate her myself... but, well, Emma and I are friends...
She's cool with it, I promise... *g*
-helen
Hahahahaha! Of course, dear Helen! This will rock...
Straylight
James Ford wrote on November 24, 1997:
PRETENSIONS and I like patsy cline....................... Keep up the
BRILLIANT WORK --- also I'm offended by the blatant mispellings and
nightmarish punctuation that is rife among the sites you slaughter.
nazimova
Thanks for support, James! They just get what they deserve...
Straylight
Forlorn wrote on November 23, 1997:
send it to you.
these them parts, and I always thought. Hey, maybe we should just make
an entire page mocking these poor bastards.
Good work.
And, damn, good word. "Goth goose."
If I ever can find any pictures, I'll try to send you a picture of the
infamous "Gothic Elvis" from Arizona.
Tah tah.
Thanks for your support, Forlorn! I'm happy that you like it! It is a honour for me to know that you have given yourself trouble to send me an e-mail by using a stupid browser, hehehehe! You like the creation "goth goose"? Well, it is not my idea! Waxtear, one of the coolest goth I know, thought it would be a good name for this page, and yes, he is absolutely right!
A gothic Elvis from Arizona??? This sounds cool! You MUST send me a picture of him so that I can make him my new Goth Goose!!!
Straylight
Elizabeth Baker wrote on November 21, 1997:
"scene" for 13 yrs and I am so sick of these uptight pretentious wanna-be goths who
won't talk to people that they deem unworthy of their attention. i can't even stand going
to clubs any more, it's just a contest of whos got the "gothiest" clothes and who can be
the biggest snobby fuck around. Your page is cool becuase it shows these idiots what
fools they are making of themselves.Have you checked out Gothic reality check of the week?
It is a lot like yours: http://www.geocities.com/FashionAvenue/2599/ickygoth.htm
Keep up the good work and don't let these little kids who keep sending you hate mail
get to you. they just need to go hang themselves {the ultimate "gothic" act].
Hi Elizabeth! Good to know that there are still adult goths around who do also hate these overdosed goth geese! You can't even imagine how much I detest these terrible "I-am-so-beautiful-and-gothic-but-I-won't-talk-to-you-because-it-might-destroy-my-pretty-make-up"-whores. It seems that you have to be over 25 years to understand this... I wish I would receive more hate mails but somehow the goth geese (also known as "idiots") do not dare to do so! Without the hate mails my life is without a good laugh! And yes, I know the Gothic reality check because they have a link to my page there but the linked it to the wrong address. *sigh*
Straylight
Glen or Kelli or Both wrote on November 12, 1997:
Hi Glen or Kelli or even both! :-) Thanks for your e-mail in which you bring some true things to light! I love your comparison of Gale with the Michelin man and I kicked myself that I haven't had the idea on my own, hahahaha! Good to know that there are still some Old School Goths around to kick ass! Last but not least a little hint: The singer of the former Fields of the Nephilim is Carl and not Karl!
Straylight
little o wrote on November 5, 1997:
Attention! This site is not a satire, this site is not a joke, this site is pure venom, this site has an absolutely serious content!!! And, hm yes, my web design skills could really be improved but I am neither in the mood to do so nor I have enough spare time. And if you didn't get it, I am not aiming for funny words but I am putting the Goth Geese in the pillory.
Straylight
Oengus wrote on November 3, 1997:
looking through some Sex Pistols stuff, found a link to some other goth
page, and then mailed a punk. He gave me this site. I have to say that
I am little offended by all the "goth wiccans" out there in their
secrete underground world. I follow a simalir faith, and have been for
quite a while, but never have I needed to state it to some one to be
"cooler" than them. And Cheers for the site, It does a lot for the
Older goths.
Yeah, the latest, degenerated goth generation is not worth to be called goth anymore. They do not even know what's the real meaning of being gothic. I hate these overdressed chicks who always have to buy the silly fashionable clothes and wear the overdosed make-up in their ugly faces... Goth has never had any spiritual path to follow but these stupid weekend-vampires will never get the message...
Straylight
Tatiana wrote on October 29, 1997:
"Kafka"! Ha ha ha ha! I wish someone would send a camera down to the Castle
in Tampa, FL. You would have more pictures than you could possibly ever handle!
Hi Tatiana, thanks for your support. Yes, Kafka is without any doubt the one and only Goth Goose. And by the way, send the pictures of these Florida Goth Geese to me! (Goths in Florida? Hard to believe...)
Straylight
Lillith wrote on October 28, 1997:
know if you have already found them, but if you need a place to find
countless numbers of geese, there are two web rings(and then some, if
you look) one being the "Goth Boiz" web ring
(www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=gothboiz&list)
and its counter part the "Rocking' Ring of Goth Girlz
(www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=gothgirlz&list)
Lillith
Hi Lillith, thanks again for being faithful to my site! Furthermore I would like to thank you for providing me with so many new addresses! I promise you: I will not sooner stop before not all goth geese of the net are stigmatized and denounced. It is my holy mission!
Straylight
Sheila Marie wrote on October 25, 1997:
I like the site don't get me wrong but I like to read the letters of those
who became the target of your page.
Hi Sheila Marie. Yes, you are right. The comments page turned out to become as funny as the goth goose main page since I have got so amusing hate mails from Emily, our famous Reverend Grieb or Kafka (although he is the grandmaster, the real King Wu, the alpha and the omega of all Goth Geese which makes him real cool!). I wish I would get more hate mails so that I can laugh even more and proudly say "Fuck off, you rotting pseudo gothic crackwhores. Learn how to dress yourself and become real goths!" Let's see if I will get a reaction to this!
Straylight
Draekal wrote on October 25, 1997:
robes, is the fact that he probably paid a ton of money for them at some
overpriced, eccentric goth clothing store. Either that or a halloween
costume shop!
crack whores! Lets wear robes so people think we belong to some DARK
and EVIL VAMPYRE CULT! Some people just don't get it do they? And so
the flock of goth geese multiplies prodigiously.
people to laugh at and make fun of! Your page is a testimony to the
idiots and fools with no fashion sense or should I say no common sense!
Keep it going, no matter what!
Hi Draekal! You express my sentiments exactly because whenever I have a look at Tom's clothes I always wonder how could somebody be so lame to pay money for that kind of halloween shit! Even Christian Slater's brown, stinking potato sack from the film "The Name Of The Rose" looks more gothic than these ridiculous monk robes. And yep, this vampiric shit... You cannot imagine how much I H*A*T*E it!!! We are Malkavians, we are Brujahs, we are Ventrues, we are Gangrels and we are a bunch of hopelessly romantic idiots who cannot stand any splatter movies. *smile*
See you in #goth...
Straylight
Necroangel wrote on October 15, 1997:
The only reason I found it is someone on AOL messaging me saying they thought they saw natalies
picture up and asked me to go see if it was actually her. funny funny funny...
Anyway I'm adding the Goth Goose link today.
Hi Necroangel, thank you very much for linking my page to yours. I'm sorry that I forgot to give you a credit for uploading and making Natalie's horribly lame but somehow funny photo available! Ummm yeah, there are so many lame geese out there who really beg for a nomination here and so I am going to continue my hard and exhausting work to free the world from all lame goth suckers. Probably I will also add some more people from your site!
Straylight
George Carless wrote on October 7, 1997:
page; had I done so, I would
have sent you email long ago. As the
first ever gothic goose, it
has been my privelege to sit smugly back
and watch as you miss the entire
point. I am, of course, far more goth
than you will ever be -- have you
*seen* my range of eyeliners? Christ,
I'm more goth than Eldritch [although the
Sisters aren't a goth band, of course].
Irony -- it's in the dictionary, and not
all that difficult to understand.
and finally understand the monumental
in-joke; at the moment, it's just too big
for you to see.
with the pages -- however, I do [seriously] feel
you should be a little less quick to
criticize the kids out there -- we all go
through our fifteen-year-old phase; some of us are
simply a little more eager to leave it than others.
And I'll proudly tell the world that I'm
a gothic goose - mind if I link to your pages?
this. I've got to go check my makeup in
the mirror and ensure people like me and think I'm goth.
-George/kafka
Hahahaha, Kafka, what has happened? Should you really have got rid of your Goth Goose attitudes? Huh, I missed the entire point and you shall be moooooooooooore goth (or even "goff"?) than I am? I think that even the Spice Girls are more gothic than Eldritch these days, in fact my granny is even more gothic than him. But maybe you are right, at the current poor stage of my evolution I do only understand vampire jokes but unfortunately no gothic ones! Yes, some are more eager than others and some will stay a Goth Goose forever... Well, check out your makeup in the mirror because as we all know you are "however, what's known as a goth, which means that [you] wear a lot of black..." Uh, I have to check my new disco dress because you certainly know that it was me who doubled the dance scenes in Travolta's "Staying Alive"! :-)
Straylight
Kimberly wrote on October 6, 1997:
to add a few comments of my own. I love your site. In fact, when
Jeffrey and I were in high school, we could have been candidates for
your award. I had bleached white hair, shaved on the sides and then I
crimped (yikes, crimping irons) it so it would stick straight up - ala
'Til Tuesday. He had all kinds of funky styles. We really don't
remember it being called "Goth/Gothic". It was "Death Rock" to us, and
we don't remember so much vampire stuff mixed in. Alas, the years have
passed (We graduated in 1987), now we have finished college and are the
spitting image of Corporate Weasels. The good thing about Corporate
Weaselness is that we now have the money to collect the records we love.
We still love the "Death Rock" music we grew up with. I guess my point
is that no one forced us to dress the way we did. We thought we were
pretty cool at the time. Others thought we were Gothic Geese. I guess
my message to anyone who comes across your site would be - LAUGH!!, it's
funny. I am so glad to see someone with a creative sense of humor. Oh,
and by the way, thank you for keeping up with it every month. It means
a lot to your fans.
Hi Kimberly! You got the point!!! It is not that serious or bad that they look like a Goth Goose, it is just because they act like lamers and take themselves too seriously! If they had a creative sense of humor this site would not exist but some months ago when I saw so many stupid goth sites I realized that there is a strong need for this award. Thank you very very much that you are a fan of this page!
Straylight
Philip Davies wrote on October 3, 1997:
hell of a long time :P Keep up the good work on all that oh so hard
cynicism, and I cant wait to see who Octobers Goose is.... ever think of
having gothic animals for the holidays too? The fuzzy little goth bunny
for easter... big fat goth reindeer in bells for christmas.....
greengoths for St. Patties? think about it... you could franchise!
Deathe
Hahahaha! That are very cool suggestions, Deathe! Franchising the Goth Goose site is a real tough idea! :-) Well, cynicism rocks and these damned Goth Geese get what they deserve unless they do not develop sense of humor.
Straylight
