Subject: Goths bite
Yeah, i guess you know your page is bloody funny.. so i shall not
dwell on that point.. or any other.. To anyone sick of teeny bopper
satan worshiping MM die hard fans with black texta all over their
faces who light candles in the dark (during the fucking day i am sure)
and who wear all black because they think it is cool who buy NIN
because he is soooo full of angst.. it is your duty, and your god
given right, to kill their spirit. Moping around *angst* whine whine
whine my life is shit.. I CARE NOT! Commit suicide already you fucked
up teens, two weeks ago i am sure you were "Grunge goddess"
worshipping Kurt Nobrain, and now Marilyn? well at least it is not Ian Curtis...
Yours,
Spooky kids worshipping Ian Curtis? What a nightmare. I am sure the day when this happens I will buy a gun and kill all Goth Geese out there, no matter where they live! Thanks for your support (and I know that my page is funny, hehehehehe)
Straylight
le marquise du vague wrote on March 4, 1998:
Subject: spooky!
All I can say is that a real friend would never let a friend go out in
Crow make-up.
Bwahahahahaaaaaaaaa...
ruby
Yours,
Hi Ruby. Yes, you are so right. But if you have read what Ashe wrote about his "friends" you will know what kind of person he is... I wish he would find some real friends who tell him how get a life but as you know, too: Spookyness is incurable. You are lost forever...
Straylight
GraveGrrl wrote on March 3, 1998:
Subject: Another One Bites the Dust
It looks as if Ashe was blown straight off the web by your ascerbic
commentary. Congrats, you'e scared another scary kid away from defacing the w3.
Suzi
Yours,
Hi Gravegrrl, thanks for yet another e-mail from you. I appreciate gratefully your support.
Straylight
BRUCE REYNOLDS wrote on March 3, 1998:
Subject: "The Gothic Goose"
Hello, I am Medora, I am writing a response for your "Gothic Goose"
page. Although I can see why these pitiful people would be entertaining
to poke fun at privatly with friends, I think that it is inhuman to
ridicule them on the internet for the whole world to see. As far as I
know these "Gothic Geese" have not done anything cruel to you, nor
anything to cause affront. Their only crimes are bad fashion, lack of
writing skills and general confusion as to what gothic is all about. I
personally would never want to associate with these types, however that
is not the issue, the issue is why you feel it neccecary to cut them to
shreds and humiliate them on your web page, perhaps you feel insicure
about your self, perhaps you merely have a viscios streak, but either
way I dont think any self respecting goth would want to have anything to
do with you, it is not goth to be cruel to the poor, unfortionate people
who you see as being "lesser" to you, a true goth would not care if some
idiot half accros the globe writes bad poetry and dosent apply his make
up correctly, it's not his business, so he dosent care. I say live and
let live. Your page is a disgrace.
Sincerely,
Medora.
P.S. How do we know you are goth anyway, since you wont tell us anything
about yourself?
Yours,
Hi Medora, it is pretty easy to understand: I have a fucking strong self-confidence. I hate Goth Geese. I hate their endless shows. And now with more words: As I have said thousand times when Goth Geese take the plunge to present themselves in the net in the most disgusting way they can do they have to stand the critique. Is it really so difficult for you to understand? The web is not a private medium, it is the public and if they make an ass of themselves in the public they have to bear the consequences. Got it? I do not respect them, shit, I do not even tolerate them! Try to figure out the address of my homepage, it is sooo easy to find it!!!
Straylight
Ari wrote on March 3, 1998:
Subject: hello
i just wanted to say how incredibly funny i think you are... the people
you pick out are great. I wanted to do a page like this myself. You
should come to chicago and see some of the morons here...you have no
idea. I hate being called goth, though I am often. I hardly ever wear
black and don't want to be associated with people who take themselves
that seriously. I like to laugh and dance and have fun and be silly...
Not very goth, huh? So, if you need any help with picking out gothic
geese, email me.
Thank you for making me laugh
Ari
Yours,
Hi Ari! Thanks a lot for your support. Geese in Chicago? You should not have said that because I will never visit it now! Or I have to puke all day... Come on and help me picking out Goth Geese from there. Just send me photos. And have fun while watching the Geese.
Straylight
PeRfect FRom now On wrote on March 1, 1998:
Subject: goth geese (what else?)
i love this page. i'm not a goth myself, but i still get annoyed by all
the so-called goth kids (and adults...and 35 year olds...tsk tsk) out
there. i have to find a picture of a friend of mine's older brother.
you'll probably get a kick out of it. oh and "during nevre's studies,
it never learned that the possessive form of 'it' is its and not it's.
nevertheless, grammar school was a pain for nevre"
~ PeRfect FrOm now ON
Yours,
Uh? What the fuck? Your nickname is really cool. I wish I could be as perfect as you. Anyway, thanks for your support!
Straylight
Scott Krieg wrote on March 1, 1998:
Subject: HAHA
This page is great. I'm so damn sick of little fucking goth people whining about all their pain and suffering(usually because daddy got them a 97' porche and not a 98') These people have no clue what pain and suffering is. If they did, they would be working on fixing their problems instead of whining about it all the time.
I suppose technically I could be called goth. I tend to wear all black alot. But dammit, I look good doing it. And while the Crow had a really cool look to it, I don't want it to be my lifestyle. I don't wear that much makeup and I'm not dead.
Anyway, keep up the good work. And I think I have some people in mind for the months to come.
I would like to add a link to your page to mine.
Yours,
Hi Scott, thanks for your e-mail. I really had to laugh at it. What a theory: Goths driving Porsches for a faster suicide. Hahahahahaha, good joke! In my opinion all my Goth Geese only have one problem: their fucking lifestyle.
Straylight
Jakob Roos wrote on March 1, 1998:
Subject: goff goof goff
Hi, would just like to thank you for the existence of
"Goth-Goose of the month"
A friend of mine (Gryphon) showed me your page when "Cryptie" was up.
Damn, i nearly laughed my head off, we have quite a lot Goth-Geese where
i live but almost none as extreme as the ones you find.
Well, anyway, youre doing a great work, keep it up.
/Jakob "Midas" Roos
"Cryptie, oh, Cryptie
Only you can lift my dark heart
With your fork-lift truck"
Yours,
Hi Jakob! A fishing net, stupid make-up and a strong self-confidence: these are the identification signs of typical Goth Geese. Don't you want to send me a few nominations of all your Goth Geese from your area? By the way, your poem is beautiful. I had a lot of fun while reading it.
Straylight
Erin wrote on February 26, 1998:
Subject: wow...
You and your friends appear 2 be pretty good at piking the posers and
Mansonites from a crowd. And 4 that I admire you. I completley understand
where you're coming from with your opinions. I agree with alot of them. There
are, however, 'goths' that do not behave like this. Or act certain undesirable
ways. It is not gothik 2 put 1s self above another. It is not gothik 2 cut
yourself or drink. It is not about self destructiveness, suicide, or h8tred of
others. Gothik (yeah I know I spell wierd) is pretty simply about looking at
life from the darker aspects. It's aknowledging death and not fearing it. It's
enjoying the night. (and not fearing the sun in trying 2 keep that oh so
gothik pale skin tone) If 'ordinary' people like 2 stargaze it's not so
abnormal or wrong 4 a 'goth' person 2 do the same. They're not all bad. It's
only that tolerable openminded, realistik, and rational gothik people are few
and far between. But, can't that be said about any label?
Sincerely (I like this page if you hadn't concluded that),
Erin
Yours,
Thanks for support, Erin. Yep, my supporters know it pretty well how to hunt the Goth Geese out of their thicket where they try to hide in the dark. I agree with all your arguments. Damn it, sometimes even I do take a sun-bath! And shit, it feels good! Still I prefer the night but that does not mean that I do not know how to have fun at day...
Straylight
Darkangel wrote on February 25, 1998:
Subject: [none]
I am what you would call "goth" but i can recall a time when we
were called darkies and pale faced cure fans.
But your site is great there a few of us that need to grow the fuck
up and get a sense of humor. I blame alot of these goth goose's as a
result of Marilyn Manson and stupid role playing vampires. Do i think there
are vampires? No but there are a few sad idiots that need to have there ankhs
used to strangle there undead necks.And that Goth babe of the week site is really sad
look at the guy who runs that things picture he a retard in a death t-shirt.
Well i laughed my ass off at my sad brethen.
Yours,
Hi Darkangel! Thank you very much for your helping words. Good to know that there are other people around who know that these role playing vampire goths have nothing to do with the old school goth movement!
Straylight
Grippen wrote on February 25, 1998:
Subject: [none]
I wonder why you even bother to use Manson lyrics, when what you hate most of all(besides Cryptie) is over self confident people? I can see that Cryptie might appear funny to you, but who the hell are you to bother? ANd what about the 'AM I Goth Enough?'-question? I ask it a lot. But is that any worse than your asking 'Am I Not Funny?' I know that you could't really give a fuck about hatemails, nobody ever does, but how come there isn't a pic of you on the net? It would be nice to know exactly what a perfect person should look like. OH and you know what? You can come to my site and NOMINATE ME for the goose of the month, OR AM I NOT GOTH ENOUGH????
PS I copy'ed my letter before you could throw it to trash, MR I-WANT-YOUR-HATEMAILS! Come on then, here is my picture, http://www.geocities.com/blabla/gooseness/666/ [Did you really think I'd put up a link to your shitty page? Straylight] WHERE'S YOURS?
Yours,
You freaky fucking pain in a true goth's ass! You have really no clue what gothic means and more than ever what the word "humour" says. Of course I do not use MM lyrics because of worshipping them (only lamers like you will think this) but because it is nothing else than pure satire. I could never use valuable Bauhaus or Joy Division lyrics on my Goth Goose page since it would be a rape of their glorious work! And a picture of mine? Damn it, I say that you are even too stupid to use a search engine because if you had turned on your 1 bit memory brain you would have found out that my homepage exists since more than one year. If you cannot find it you are not worth to see my page. By the way, I am really not angry that you have sent me the same letter three times..... So I could laugh at you three times!
Straylight
Mao wrote on February 20, 1998:
Subject: gagagagagagaga
Stray, my friend. You have once again out-done yourself in your
relentless pursuit of that which is gooselike. Far be it for me to hurl
insults at a person whose digital representation I have only glimpsed
via a link on your page but...
Oh hell, who the fuck am I kidding.
This Cryptie lad is one serious motherfucking chunk of batshit. To
whoever nominated him, I hate you out of principle! The fact that you
brought this individual to attention only strengthens my belief that
pure evil DOES exist.
The constructo-goth images are equalled in ridiculousness only by the
Euro-Disney franchise. And those pictures in the graveyard...OH GOD, my
eyes! MY EYES!!! I'm seriously considering stabbing them out with a
fork so that I don't have to look at him anymore. But it's like a car
crash....can't...look...away....aieeeeeeeeee! it's like something out
of Silence of the Lambs.. the image of a dead drag queen found rotting
in some back alley comes to mind. Please, I implore you, put on some
fucking pants before you end up in a Warhol movie. I'm actually
physically trying to stuff the vomit back down my throat so as not to
expel it onto my keyboard. In retrospect, I'm tempted to give Cryptie a
"bloody kiss" from my baseball bat.
Aside from that, he seems like a pretty nice guy!
-mao
You know, they say, that whenever someone farts, a new goth goose gets
their first Marilyn Manson album.
Your favourite kraut,
Wohohoooo Mao my dearest, I love your letter!!! Shit, I am still laughing. With your razor-sharp jokes you understand it like nobody else to explain what is gooseness and how we feel. Let me tell you a secret: By running the Goth Goose site I pay homage to your wonderful #goth channel where we can have so much fun when we slay the geese and kick them out of the channel like dead meat after it.
Straylight
GOTHPAIN wrote on February 19, 1998:
Subject: goth goose comment
love the page. i guess that means i love you? :->
Very horny now,
Hi Gothpain (by the way cool nickname), thanks for your support. Especially I like your conclusion, hehehehehe! Well, if you are a beautiful and gorgeous goth girlie, hm, call me!
Straylight
Arianna Rath wrote on February 16, 1998:
Subject: 10 goth points
One of the most amusing pages I have seen. Either that, or the most painful. Brilliant!
10 goth points (although, I am admittedly not qualified to hand them out).
Thank you, thank you. I laughed until I cried (or got scared -
"Cryptie" made me scared to be on the same planet as him...yuck!)
Arianna Rath
Yours,
Hi Arianna, haha, I should make my goth goose page xxx-rated. You have to be over 18 to stand all this goose ugliness. Thanks a lot for your support!
Straylight
Christopher Paul wrote on February 15, 1998:
Subject: gooses...geeses! I want one now!
I've been meaning to e-mail you about your breathtaking page. I love the
black, the Gothic background, the great Gothic lettering...all it needs is
some pictures of vampires. Oh wait, I just found something better...oh
yes, here it is, they're called GEESE! What are these mysterious beings?
I dare say, I am awestruck...I am terrified...there is someone MORE Goth
than I am? My God! I need more make up...I need more Anne Rice books!
Where's the "Outrageously Expensive So You Can Impress Your Graveyard
Loitering Friends All Black And Leather Store?" I need an OS/2 so that I
can deny the Anti-Goth Microsoft! I need...
Whoa...hold it right there! I'm sorry about that. I guess there is some
Goth inside me trying to get out! That's what I get for eating Goths for
dinner every night. I guess you really are what you eat...
Your page is great, I'm a fan, and I promise some Goth Geese in the future.
In order to find a Goth Goose, you must THINK like a Goth goose...ugh...I
guess I'm not even going to try...I'll just type in "pathetic" in the
Infoseek box and see what I get. Talk to ya later...
Yours,
Hi Christopher, thank you very much for your support and help.
Straylight
Deanna wrote on February 13, 1998:
Subject: [none]
upon finding your beautiful "goth goose" site, i find myself reminded of all the numerous jenny jones broadcasts regarding goth culture and the need to be made over. every single time, it makes me think of all these poor little alternateens trying to stray from being alternateen...thus becoming goths in training. what saddens me, in relation to this outcry for identity, is that they search for themselves through the likes of mr. marilyn manson (whom i must confess i only like becuz of every tarded band member having the last name of a famous serial killer in american history...but alas the little tykes do not realize this) and nine inch nails (the hypocrite years), and they run to hot topic to do all their gothic shopping. what happened to reading the modern novel, what happened to finding the perfect decoration at an antique shop, why must everything they buy be made in china (please, i mean no racial disrepect...just manufacturing)? i think what bothers me most is that an peer of mine, 22 years of age, finds it cute that he has a little gothic fan club worshipping him in surburbia(which reminds me...he is a perfect candidate for gothic goose of the month). is this the beginning of the end? i just hope the little tykes do not discover the true meaning of fetishism...it is the last place i have left to hide.
love the site, wish i could stay, but ..........
deanna (why pose under a name i was not born with...i know who i am and i do not need to hide behind "raven" or "sinderella")
Yours,
Hi Deanna, interesting e-mail, thanks! Too bad you can't stay so come back often in order to laugh with me at all these stupid Goth Geese out there!
Straylight
Scytal wrote on February 12, 1998:
Subject: About your Goth Goose of the month page
Hi,
I just want to say that I find your page very original and amusing. Its funny to see how strange people can make themselves out to be sometimes... And comforting at the same time to see that there are other people out there, like yourself, who feel that they're out of place just like me. I must admit though, that some of your last winners look pretty darn good, for hollo-ween. (Even there I'm not sure I'd dress that way!) Anyhow, I've bored you enough already... So I'll leave you with a tiny reflection of your light... hoping it will set things all right, for you anyway, Mr.. Straylight.
Duke Nukem Rating "... Looking Good!!"
Yours,
Hi Scytal, thank you very much for your support.
Straylight
Lernedrah wrote on February 12, 1998:
Subject: goth what?
goth goose? GOTH GOOSE??? how dare you calling criptie or whatever is his
name a goth goose??? he is an inpiration to all us(??) goths!!! he's
absolutly gorgeous in all that powder in his face! (if you ask me, he was
hitting with his head in a pizza to flat it!) and that picture with the
forklift!! ahhhh.... what a men! i feel so hot when i look at it! i think
i'm going to print it next time i got a depression! really... this time
you (actually Mau Bast) had really out done yourself! i suggest also you
nominate him Goth Goose God, because i can hardly believe that worst then
that will ever happen!
my best regards... Herlander aka Lernedrah
Yours,
Hi Herlander! Cryptie a Pizza Goose? Shit, this sounds cool! But you are absolutely right since my February Goose is "overgoffed" goose ever because Cryptie even beats Kafka although I am not sure yet that Kafka has found his master! We all have to thank Mau Bast for her outstanding nomination. Can you top it and send me a better goose?
Straylight
mynx wrote on February 9, 1998:
Subject: (no subject)
teenagers are so damn funny.....i see a little of myself 10
years ago in some of those geese......
*has it been that long?-shudder*
~mynx
Yours,
Hi Mynx... Hehehehe, good old times, hm? Hohohohoho... Well, if only teenagers were Goth Geese it would be so easy.... But have a look at Cryptie! Over 30 years old and no clue how to get a real life.... This is extremely sad!
Straylight
Lady Arcana Luna wrote on February 8, 1998:
Subject: ^~Goth Goose Nominee~^
Hey, I came upon your website during a search of all "Anti-Goth" sites...
most amusing.I guess that's the suitably goth reaction.
Since I'm an emotionally massochistic gothic martyr, I decided to search
the WEB-Realm for any anti-goth propoganda , so I can feel even more
persecuted, outraged, and mis-understood.
I'd also like to nominate myself for "Gothic Goose". I'm still scuicidal
over not being adaquate enough to take my place amongst the "Gothic Babes of
The Month", or even "The Gothic Geeks of the Month", for I am but a homely
suburban poseur who can't afford custom-made 18th century mourning clothes,
so I have to settle for anything black at wal-mart or the thrift store--But
you'll usually find me in baggy Jnco's and a tee shirt bearing the logo of
some semi-underground goth band signed to Cleopatra records. Apart from my
natural inclination towards the darker, vintage side of things--I learned to
be a goth from the internet.
Love,
Hi mysterious lady, hohohohoho, now I have a machine gun!!! Thanks for your nomination but I do not take the plunge to make you a future goose because I fear your "goff internet powa". Oh shit, you are such a cutie on your pic which you have sent to me that I should nominate you for www.disney.com. Ah well, if you cannot be a goth babe or a goth geek why not try to achieve the nomination for the darwin award this year? You just have to kill yourself in the most stupid way. "I learnd to be a goth from the internet" Hahahahahahaha, this is cool! I should take this into my signature or even better post it to alt.gothic because I haven't got any new flames recently and I do really miss it.
Straylight
