Subject: nominees?
Dearest Straylight,
Keep up the good work!
I recently happened upon a site dedicated to "Christian Goths" It is hosted as necronom.com or
something like that. The lengthy philosophical tracts might yield countless geese if you care to look.
-Ponky
Yours,
Thanks for your support of my Goth Goose site. Please find out the exact URL of the page you are talking about so that I can have a look at it and check whether there are some people worth for the Goth Goose award or not. By the way, congratulations to you because I received from you the e-mail. Thanks!!!
Straylight
Lori Barnes wrote on March 30, 1998:
Subject: [none]
i want an undecided button for this... anyway: one quick comment as to the nature of goth. goth is neither as state of dress nor a state of mind. it's just a word some people like to use to decribe themselves. but i'm all for hatred and taunting.
taunt 'em some more!!!
theda
Yours,
ROTFL! Most pseudogoths should rather use the word "pretentious idiot" to describe themselves.
Straylight
MobeusRaven wrote on March 30, 1998:
Subject: [none]
The one thing I love about goths are their snotty, pretentous asshole attitudes. "It's not about, hair or music or black lipstick or clothes or 20 hole doc martins (gripfasts if your a poor goth) or that I once played Magenta in my highschool rendition of rhpc." IT IS ABOUT ALL THAT SHIT! Walk into a club wearing whiteface, buckle boots, stretch jeans, and a leather trench over an old Sister's tour shirt, and you have guys humping your leg. Anything else and you can't even get a light for your Capri 100. You have shown me that, however untactfully, that attitude is alive and well. Foster the young. Just because they aren't educated on who excactly Genisis P Oridge is, or what band came before New Order and Love and Rockets, or that Type O Negative really isn't all that goth, doesn't mean that they are idiots, and not worth your time. Educate and enlighten (or darken). Making a subculture a way of excluding others is just a lame mamailian instinct. Goth has ! been a misunderstood term since it's inseption, or do you even know why the British media coined the trerm when Bauhaus had broken all musical boundaries with their style and stage antics. I admit that I get tired of Manson (rhymes with Hanson) lyrics being yelled at me from mom 's station wagon, but if i could get my hands on one of those little bugger's I could set them down to listen to some really good good music, give them some books other than those by Anne Rice, and I would feel better about my self for what I have done, not my superiority over others.
However, I don't want you to stop, or my life would be completely without laughter.
Praise Allah!
Hail BOB!
-ThePravetzKid
Yours,
Hm, interesting...
Straylight
Porphyria wrote on March 29, 1998:
Subject: [none]
I'd just like to say, that although I don't agree with everything you are saying, most of it is true.
The truth hurts.
Yours,
Hi Porphyria, thanks for your support. I wonder if these stupid Goth Geese will ever understand how much they hurt us.
Straylight
Lacey Papp wrote on March 25, 1998:
Subject: Hi
Go weekly
Yours,
Yes, I promise you that I will shortly start with a weekly update.
Straylight
stark wrote on March 21, 1998:
Subject: a whole gaggle
i have in my possesion a number of pictures of an entire gaggle o geese
none of them possess homepages to my knowlege and their pics may not
look that goose esque, but their attitudes are nothing less then
kafkalike "im your gothiest nightmare AND ILL YELL BOO AT YOU" .. i ramble
just curius if you would be interested in posting these pictures for a
future goose of the moonth. [you could go weekly with these] [btw GREAT
FUKING PAGE] .. caps.. how goth.... teehee i GOTHED ..
-stark
Yours,
Yo Stark! Thanks for your interest and support. I am really looking forward to get your pictures.
Straylight
Trina Ramirez wrote on March 20, 1998:
Subject: Goth Goose
You know what?
You need to get a life. Have you nothing better to do than make fun of people?
Sure, some of the people featured on your site DO look geeky, but for Goodness sake,
leave them alone. I mean, look at YOURSELF. You want to find next month's goth goose?
Look in the mirror, baby.
(yes, I found your site, you stupid bastard).
Garlic, non vampiric kisses,
PLONK! Muahahahahaha! I have a life... Damn, when will you understand that I am on a mission from God to destroy all fake goffs and spooky kids? One night when I was clubbing I saw Jesus totally gothed up with spooky make-up and he cried for help! Well, whenever I look in the mirror I see the creator of a new world order. You found my site? Cool, the candidate gets 10 points.
Straylight
Jeremy Hood wrote on March 18, 1998:
Subject: goth goose
Well, I think what you're doing is great. The sense of humour is
appreciated, and.. holy shit, I can't believe the guy worships "the
crow". I mean, it had good cinematography, but it's hardly something to
live your life by. And kudos on listening to manson but acutally
understanding that, once more, he is *not* worth worshipping. But tell
me this, what would goths be nowadays if it weren't for an uprising in
wannabes nowadays? Goddamned sheltered childhood. Anyway, being somewhat
young myself, and underexposed to the real gothness of the world, due to
lack of evil stimulus and worthwhile music, you'll prolly want me to
show up on your page. But, what I find even funnier, is that even *I* I
have followers. Me. Boring ungoth me. Haha. Bah, fuck it all. Why can't
we all just.. get along? The mansonites and goths reunited for one big
bondage party? The Ninnies (or Nailheads) giving gothic hugs to the
Alien Sex Fiends of the older generation? Wouldn't that be a sight to
see? Indeed it would, and it would probably end up being one helluva
rumble. I know I'm hideously off-track, but that's just how my mind
works. The oldest "goth" in my city is 21. His name is 'BlackRose', and
if you call him by his birthname, he slugs you. He has a smurf fetish
and loves Bob Dylan. With influences like these, wow, I'm shocked I
turned out so.. well-rounded. I like everything and everyone except for
discriminating jocks. That's about it. Hope you like my little
stream-of-consciousness bit here, and may the goth be with you, or some
shit like that.
Jeremy (I USED MY REAL NAME! HEAVEN FORBID!)
Yours,
Jeremy, thanks for your very interesting and highly funny letter. I have to say that you point out some really good ideas. I do really wish that goths and mansonites would live in peace and harmony although I am still attacking the spooky kids and Goth Geese. Let us see what will happen in the future...
Straylight
Clay Pursell wrote on March 16, 1998:
Subject: [none]
hi, thanx for the laugh, we love it (don't worry, I don't refer to myself as two people,
there really are two of us here) I'm so tired of these people
Yours,
Hello Clay, thanks for the e-mail! Are you sure that there are really not two of yourself? I ask because sometimes when I see too many Goth Geese within a short time I often feel nauseous and schizophrenic, too!
Straylight
AngrySeed wrote on March 15, 1998:
Subject: hello
your page is one of the best i have seen there is not a lot of poeplke around
any more that understand the concepts of true "gothism"
Yours,
Hi AngrySeed, thanks for your nice e-mail. I wish there would be more people like you around who know what's the true meaning of goth. Most people think it's only dressing up as stupid as possible and go clubbing for showing their arrogant faces only.
Straylight
PaleGothic wrote on March 15, 1998:
Subject: your page on purp
what the fuck? did you decide to pick some of his not-so-good pics just to
make fun of him? and another thing, who the hell are you to judge whether or
not someone is "gothic"?
Get a life! Pale
Yours,
I have one, do you have a life, too? It's just, uuuummm, I am more goth than others! Oh shit, now I said a Goth Geese favourite sentence! I am so arrogant that I could fly, damn it! Hahahahaha, your letter sucks. Anyway I wish I'd get more of those...
Straylight
ImaSwtGrl1 wrote on March 15, 1998:
Subject: [none]
hiya...... i consider myself goth even though i don't dress outrageous or whatever.
People consider me goth i don't know why they do.
Maybe it's the way i carry myself............. anyways the real reason i wrote
you is to ask you why you consider yourself goth I understand why u hate people for
trying to make a trend of being goth but it seems like you really really hate them.
Is there more to your wrath then just that
buh bye
Hecate
Yours,
Hm, why am I goth? Well, at least not because of wearing cheesy cloaks and white make-up! But because of a certain attitude towards things which are the spirit of true gothic. Not because I act like a puppet in clubs with a face of stone and a "I-am-more-goth-than-you-so-I-do-not-speak-to-you"-attitude but because of enjoying the old dark sounds which come from better times (old school goth). That it! No more, no less.
Straylight
Bonnie & Clyde wrote on March 10, 1998:
Subject: kafka...his hair almost touched the ceiling... and
you filthy cocksucker....
....... you are great.......
Molly Ringworm
you deserve
pictures.....
Yours,
Hi Molly Ringworm, damn it, this is a compliment! But the pictures you sent are distracting...
Straylight
Amy Carle wrote on March 10, 1998:
Subject: talks about nothing.....
hmmm, for some reason i felt the desire to respond to your page,
although i never (i swear, honest!) respond to the little "comments
here" thing.
ummm, so okay, here is why....GOTH HUMOUR!!! heaven forbid...teehee. i
am tired of serious "i am too goth for you" people, even though they are
pretty to look at, and i got a kick out of your page, and it made me
laugh, although, more in a self-deprecating manner, simply because i can
imagine responses to my page "who is she trying to fool?!" or something
along those lines. (that was a very long sentence)ummm, but i don't
have a page, so this would be impossible. but, if ever i do make one, i
will put a link to this site, knowing full well that this will not save
me from your wrath.
okay, i am done now. thanks for the giggles. have a nice day, bastard
that thou art. hehe.....hmm, was that a GOTH enough curse?
would have liked to have seen your page, though....
Yours,
Hi Amy. Hihihihihi, thanks for your interesting letter. I know how to appreciate your effort at writing a comment to my humble page. With regard to my homepage, errrr, try to run a search engine, it is pretty easy to find. Little hint: Although I live in Germany it is placed on an American server which offers free homepages and it is not Geocities.
Straylight
Rick L. Ansel wrote on March 9, 1998:
Subject: Wonderful!!
I haven't had a laugh like this in an incredibly long time! Truly it is
quite amusing. Thank you for your services to those of us who see
through the "manson-goths" of the world. The geese are wonderful and
the name quite creative. (I was expecting an actual goose that someone
claimed was "goth") I was thoroughly impressed with your style, not to
mention the convenience... the pages load so quickly! Perhaps I am the
typical anti-goth goth... but how can I help myself with so many poor
representations out there of the culture. I sympathize with your quest
to end the existance of the goth goose. It is not, however, a dying
breed. Most unfortunate, but good for a laugh in the meantime.
Thanks again for the great site.
Wendy
Yours,
Hi Wendy, thanks a lot for your nice letter. Since the only purpose of the Goth Goose Of The Month is to make people laugh I am very happy that I could satisfy your needs. Keep the true gothic fire buring (I know, it sounds lame but what else could I say that suits better?)!
Straylight
Madelyn Boudreaux wrote on March 9, 1998:
Subject: oh, that wasn't hard
Finding you, that is. As per your suggestion on your brilliant and
disturbing goth goose page.
However, the presense of not one, but FIVE, fucking Manson cds on your
music list is disheartening. And revolving skulls? Fuck that! I think
you're secretly a goose. Inside every goth, there's an ugly little farm
fowl squawking to get out. Some just hide it better than others.
Everyone has had a haircut or an outfit or an opinion that they later
really wish they hadn't. You know who you are.
Anyway, I think (or want to think) that Cryptie is a joke. Well, I
mean... THAT'S obvious. But I think he's a metalhead who'se making fun
of goths. Otherwise, I can't sleep at night. I have nightmares that he's
getting closer and closer, and any day he'll show up looking for love in
my city. That's when I wake up screaming.
-- Madelyn
Yours,
Hi Madelyn, thank you very much for your comment. Cryptie is a gothic nightmare to everyone of us because he is not a joke, he is reality. No more we can sleep safely. He's coming, oh my goth, he is coming with his gothic forklift to pick us up!!! Anyway, I like MM and yes, I have Manson CDs but does this make me spooky or ungoth? No, I don't think so because I am no yellow lipstick/green hair spooky fool without a life. Never said that Manson is goth and never said that I hate them although I like to make fun of them. I agree with you, inside every goth there is gooseness but that's not bad as long as you know your limits.
Straylight
Ralph Johnson wrote on March 7, 1998:
Subject: [none]
Kudos for you, Straylight, destroyer of all humiliating and pathetic goth
geese. I adore your page. It makes me wistful for more months with only 28
days. 'Tis high time we sent all these geese back to their caskets and
caves, where they belong. I especially liked last month's goose. Wasn't he
the one who wore his white makeup while operating a forklift?
Ever Grateful,
-Inamorata
Yours,
Hi Inamorata, thanks for all your support. It seems that my last month's Goth Goose (Cryptie aka the gothic forklift driver) has got a pretty large fan community. What a shame for all real goths...
Straylight
Mirco Strissel wrote on March 5, 1998:
Subject: the goth goose of the month
Dear Straylight,
From its very beginnings on i find your "Goth Goose of the month"-site
very amusing,but the goth goose oft this month is most ridiculous!
Although i still donīt really know what it means to be "gothic" (and i
quite donīt care anyway) i do now exactly know what it means if someone is
pretending to be gothic althoug he/she is not, thus becoming a goth goose.
I like your site very much and visit it regularly. There should be a goth
goose of the week or even day because there seem to be a lot of geese
around and your sense of humor in ripping them apart is something iīd like
to enjoy every day.
I wonder what became of the past "winners" of your award ? None of them
has ever sent you a comment about his nomination or did i just oversee it?
Maybe your eternal crusade against gothgooseness is beginning to be
successful and these pitiful beings have become real members of the human
race? Or did they even become real goths? Or did shame overcome them and
they are hiding in some dark places where noone can see them and their
skin turns pailer than the whit make-up they used? Someone should really
find out what happened to them!
I am looking forward for the next goth goose and keep up the good work,
Straylight!
Sincerely yours,
Apollyon
Yours,
Hello Apollyon. Ride my rocket! Thank you very much for your e-mail. Well, I am thinking of going weekly since I get so much positive letters to the Goose site which proves that there is a need for slaying all these Goth Geese. I just cannot endure them anymore. These fucking MM and NIN worshipping pieces of dogshit... These Peter "Goth As Fuck" Steele groupies... I wish I could meet all of them at a Quake server and let them feel what pain really means. But, oh, there are comments. Naxus and Kafka wrote back and as far as I am informed from alt.gothic people some Goth Geese are even proud of being nominated. Damn, this is something I do not want to happen again. I think I have to be even more mean to them and show really NO mercy. I hardly believe that they are part of the human race now (Kafka is still a brilliant goose). Well, let's see what the future brings!
Straylight
Barbeau-Dumont wrote on March 4, 1998:
Subject: fuck me !! fuck you!!! yes it's kmfdm!
who are you to think YOU'RE MORE GOTH THAN OTHERS????
Unravel from the channel #gothquebec
Yours,
Hi "Unravel from the channel #gothquebec" (hahahaha, what a good laugh)! Who are you to think that you have something else in your head with the exception of a vacuum? Go back, lumberjack, go back! I am even more goth than you...
Straylight
Sarah wrote on March 4, 1998:
Subject: Goth Goose Of The Month Nomination
Your page is SO good. I laughed my ass off. And the best part was I KNOW
that Kafka guy. A very very wise choice, he was.
-Sarah
Yours,
Hi Sarah, thanks for your letter. Kafka is the alpha and the omega of all gooseness I know. I do really worship him. Well, he has style but on the other hand he is just nothing but a goose. I often meet him on IRC (a channel I can recommend is Undernet #goth) and try to tell him that I adore him but he just does not care. Hahahahahaha. By the way, thanks for the nomination you did!
Straylight
