Subject: goth geese!
Just thought I'd say thanks for letting me have a chance to really rip
the piss out of these wannabes. I try not to claim my ultimate
gothness....cos well you know, I'm not goth :) I considered creating a
site like this for quite a while after seeing all the mansonites and cof
fans claiming to be goth etc etc....I'm glad you did it first! :)
*hugs&kisses*
Saiira
Yours,
Hi Saiira, thank you very much for your support.
Straylight
D. Price wrote on May 27, 1998:
Subject: [none]
Thank you so very much for giving the "really cool kids" the bashing they deserve. I now have an outlet for my anger, an alternative to going out and burning the little "goth geese" in their ever so evil marilyn manson t-shirts. This site will definitely get frequent visits from me...
I shall return...
Dianna
Yours,
Hi Diana, thank you very much for your support and do me a favour and come back often.
Straylight
Mr Self Destruct wrote on May 27, 1998:
Subject: goth goose
I find you guilty of:
Considering yourself an authority on what or what isn't goth
(bit narrow-minded don't you think)
being ungoth yourself by:
having pics of pansies on your page
working at Mc Donalds (the most ungoth place on earth!)
Oh god! A Mc Donalds page too, stop it I cant take anymore
(burger king are better anyway)
therfore I nominate you as a goth goose, he he he,
have you been nominated bofore? bet you don't include yourself though.
see ya,
Noel
Yours,
Hi Noel. Damn, I'm on a mission from God, I'm even more powerful than Jesus. You will never understand but I am here in order to release even YOU from all spooky/goff pain. God loves you and McDonald's because McDonald's is the only true religion in this world. Burger King is the antichrist. Ever waited in a queue at the counter? Then you'll know what I mean... And since God sent me a vision of what's goth or not I do know everything about it. Yep, hahahaha! And I have been nominated as a Goth Goose so often that I will upload myself really soon. Hope you will enjoy it then. As I have said thousand times before: I can laugh at myself, too.
Straylight
BAbyMiNNi wrote on May 25, 1998:
Subject: Goth Goose.
Ok so Ive clicked on your name at the bottom of the Goth Goose of the
Week page....So hopefull Im writing to the right person.
Anyways.....i just thought id drop u a line to let you know that i larf
my arse off at your page...Thanks for keeping me amused.
Cheers,
BAbyMiNNi (oz.org)
Yours,
Hi BAbyMiNNi. Do you really think I'd use faked e-mail addresses? I couldn't receive any hate mails then, hehehehehehe! Thanks for your support!
Straylight
Lady Doom wrote on May 22, 1998:
Subject: Goth Goose!!!!
Hi!!!
I love your side!!! This is exactely what the scene needs. A kick up the
ass!!!! (I'm a gothic too and I look like a goose sometimes too, so I
should know....)
Why is it banned from the Dark Side??? I thought she was looking for
content...
I prefer your side to those with these poor poems and stuff.. honest!
Yours,
Hi Lady Doom, thanks for your support. I was banned ("banned" is not the correct expression for it, "being ignored" sounds better) from the Dark Side of the Web because the owner does not like my way of critique. Who cares? I have my fun and the world is happy.
Straylight
Daednu wrote on May 19, 1998:
Subject: Pssssssssssst
What you are describing on your goose page, m'dear, is a spooky kid. Not
a goth. The difference is, spooky kids worship Marilyn Manson (usually)
and their main goal is to attract negative attention. Nope, not goths.
Yours,
Hi Daednu. Well, the Goth Goose page is anti-spooky and anti-fake goths. And the definition of a Goth Goose is not from me but from Draven. Besides there are a lot of fake goths on the net who attract negative attention and I'm on a mission from God to make them feel like a worm in a big piece of dogshit.
Straylight
Kristian And Belinda wrote on May 18, 1998:
Subject: [none]
Making fun of people is always fun, thats why I like this page.
However, all this talk from apparent "real goths" about
how much they dislike unreal goths seems to me to point
out their lack of any sense of individuality. (if individuality
exists in any subculture that is)
If they did feel comfortable as "real goths" why the hell
would they care what other people look like, and if posers
give them a bad name, what does that matter to someone
secure in themselves and their individuality?
Anyone who wears specialised clothing to point out their
alligance to some culture is essentially posing...
perhaps all goths just a bunch of posers.
:)
Oh I dunno. Theres only one thing I dislike more than posers
and thats people saying "im not a poser".
But atleast you make fun of people and you are very good at
it. Although Cryptie basically makes fun of himself no
witty comments required there.
Yours,
Hi Kristian And Belinda, thanks for the compliments and praising me.
Straylight
kenny persson wrote on May 15, 1998:
Subject: [none]
Well...to bad,but this site has some kind of "Psuedo-black-metal" sense over it, like
I¦m the only true "goth" and your just a trendy! ( and by this I mean your
answers on the e-mails).Of course they look silly, but why dont you put a
picture of yourself so we all can see how a proper "goth" looks like?
Now dont missunderstand me caus I had a good laugh watching thees pics.
Some are just to good to be true!
but still...Like who the fuck cares if a guy wrote "Karl" insted of
Carl?...(me maybe?)
this makes you look like some little git.
- Iodine Jupiter
Yours,
Hi Iodine Jupiter. I care about if Carl's name is written correctly or not because it proves whether someone knows a bit about the band or if this guy is just a trendy kind of fuck. And why is my style so overbearing? Because I am! This site is not pseudo-black metal, this site is goth as fuck. LOL!
Straylight
lucy4ever wrote on May 14, 1998:
Subject: gothic goose of the week?
hello,
I really love your page and I'm glad we'll enjoy a new gothic goose weekly.
I'm from Brazil, as you know it's a very diversified country, with lotz of
different kind of people, and it also have some gothic goose too.
Yours,
Hi Lucy4ever, thanks for an e-mail from your wonderful country. I'm an enthusiastic fan of BRAZIL so I would like to see a Brazilian Goth Goose!
Straylight
Litorco wrote on May 13, 1998:
Subject: [none]
Sad, sad, sad...I fear that your site may have turned me from
subculture...lol...Truthfully though, I really like it. Keep
shooting down those stupid posers whom make us all look bad...
Happy Huntings...
Lady Eris
Yours,
Hi Lady Eris, thanks for your support. I will slay all these bastards!
Straylight
maude wrote on May 4, 1998:
Subject: [none]
Well.....there were so MANY things I wanted to say...but after reading all the other email's ..... it's all been
said......so along with everyone else....I'm jumping on the bandwagon and saying HOORAY for your site....keep on
mocking those poor insipid poseurs .... who are giving "goth" a bad name....
By the way.. when will people learn to look in a mirror before leaving the house?? Mmmm...then again....with someone
like Cryptie....all the mirrors would break....so no wonder he looks the way he does....
Why are there so many try-hards in this world?? Why do people find it so hard to just be themselves....instead of
trying to follow some formula ?? Another gripe of mine..
I could ramble on for hours about how all those goth geese irritate the hell out of me....but I'm sure you've heard
it all before and it would blend into a blah....blah...blah...
Keep up the sarcasm & caustic tongue....
Maude....
Yours,
Thank you for your letter, Maude. About Cryptie: He seems to be the favourite Goth Goose of many people. He is nothing but a very poor human being. I think it would make sense to create the "Cryptie Goose Foundation". About my sarcasm and caustic tongue: I know that everybody else would react like I do when I'm looking at these terrible Goth Geese.
Straylight
Jennifer L. Holtzinger wrote on May 1, 1998:
Subject: [none]
oh god.. those shoes... those shoes... but i'm thrilled to pieces you're going weekly.
theda
Yours,
Hi Theda. ROTFL! These shoes kick ass! Hahahahahaha... And the face, oh my goff!
Straylight
MrsFuct777 wrote on April 30, 1998:
Subject: [none]
nice page ..... the one thing is that looking at pages like this often makes me wonder what the hell happened. how come all the sudden gothic is being described by bands like marilyn manson or wearing make up from last halloween. its a state of mind .....
Yours,
Sad but true...
Straylight
WellHeyNow wrote on April 29, 1998:
Subject: Your lovely webpage
I must tell you that I absolutely love your page. I recently discovered that 6
rather annoying goth-wanna-bes have taken over my old stomping grounds, if you
know what I mean. They have turned the place into a massive Marilyn Manson and
vampire worshipping shrine. I stopped in one day while the 3 gentlemen of the
group were applying eyeliner and speaking of their next cemetary sleep-over.
Of course, Manson was blasting in the background. When they noticed I was
watching them, they stopped and rudely inquired "What are youuuu doing here??
This place is for goths only" I was infuriated by that comment. The stupid
children had no idea what it meant to be goth. They were all fishnets and
vinyl. I was so happy to have found your site. It is nice to know that I am
not the only person out there who is annoyed by these stupid self righteous
little brats.
~~Sadyrah
Yours,
Hi Sadyrah, thanks for your support. I laughed a lot at your story about these stupid Mansonites and their "for goths only" place. Hahahahahaha, if you know more about them take a photo and send it to me.
Straylight
Marsha wrote on April 20, 1998:
Subject: Deine Seite
Hi Marcus! Ich muß Dir ein sehr grosses Lob für Deine Site aussprechen. Echt super! Wenn Du nichts dagegen hast, werde ich Deine Seite bei meinen Links mit aufführen.
Ciao, Marsha
Yours,
Hallöchen Marsha, schön, daß Dir meine Seite gefällt und natürlich freue ich mich, daß Du einen Link auf meine Seite verweisen lassen möchtest. Nur zu!
Straylight
tech09 wrote on April 19, 1998:
Subject: Goth Goose of the month
I like the T-rex.. too bad Marilyn Manson isn't running away from it though.
why of the month? make it of the week (it's summer, you'll have the time).
Yours,
Well, it will be weekly very soon although I don't have too much free time to do it as I'm pretty busy at my university right now.
Straylight
ophelia wrote on April 16, 1998:
Subject: [none]
Hello Dearie,
I must tell you that this page has certainly brightened my day. I'm a Biologist and as soon as I can get a grant,
I'll be sure to devevlop a virus to target these little Mansonite Parasites. I'll keep you posted on my progress.....
Keep up the good work, darling. Safe journeys, ~ophelia
Yours,
Hi Ophelia. Thanks for support. Please report when you developed the virus!
Straylight
William J. Hamilton 777 wrote on April 15, 1998:
Subject: The Goth Goose. . . a New Horizon of the Sacred and Profane
Dear Sir,
My name is William. I recently stumbled upon ye olde Goth Goose page.
Remarkable. Just plain remarkable.
In fact (being the person I am), I think your site almost makes up for
much of the vulgarization of a very romantic and hauntingly beautiful
tradition.
. . the vulgarization that plagues The Gothic until it is so diseased
that it digresses into what I call 'pop-goth' (for lack of a more
insulting term).
Anyway. . . I am prepared to go all out to help in this crisis.
Feel free to look at my little homepage,
THE LAIR OF THE DAMNED
('Damned'. . . as in 'me'),
and tell me what you think.
I have a sense of humour too. . . I can take it.
I don't have any photos of myself, though (like who out there in the
world gives a rat's-ass what I look like).
[Lots of advertising for his homepage deleted. Straylight]
Hope to hear from you soon.
Take It Easy (or Take It Anyway You Can Get It, I guess)
~ William ~
P.S. I wouldn't mind seeing your
true 'homepage,' either.
I'm sure that if it is not tasteful,
it should at least be wacky.
Yours,
Hi William. Thank you for the pretty long e-mail. I wouldn't express the whole story as pathetic as you do but some things sound quite okay. I've checked your homepage and believe me, it would better if I leave a comment out. "THE LAIR OF THE DAMNED" sounds rather childish but I don't care since I know that you have a sense of humour. Come on, upload some photos.
Straylight
Elspeth wrote on April 15, 1998:
Subject: yummy...stuffed goose!
Your site is hilarious, but aren't you tired of coming up with new and
original acerbic comments? I don't know how you do it...you're an
inspiration to us all. I just wanted to get something straight here, at
last: neither the color of your clothes, the stores you frequent, the
music you listen to, or even the permanent body-art you do/don't possess
will make you a goth. It is just a little harder to define than that. A
goth doesn't give a damn what anyone else thinks of her/him, can create
something original (the angst-shit poetry doesn't count), and a goth
absolutely MUST be able to think for herself/himself! (Yes, I'm a chic,
and I put 'her' ahead of 'him'. Deal with it.) A little echoing is ok,
but originality is a must. I would nominate myself for your goose award,
but I don't have any pics of me looking goosy enough. Oh well, you can
look at the two measly pics I have if you really want to...remember that
I don't have a scanner or a digital camera. Anyway... I know you'll
flame me good when you see my site. If you do make fun of me, you have
to write me so I'll remember to see just how cruel you were.
My page is SLOW and it's at
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Labyrinth/gOtH_gOoSe_RuLeS
[I do not publish links to personal homepages here. Straylight].
BTW, you really should consider putting that gay banner at the top of
your page so the even more flamingly gay banner doesn't pop up and annoy
the heck out of us. Or is that your evil plan? To drive us insane with
the demon pop-up? Oh well, anyway, I am FINALLY out of stuff to say.
About time, huh?
'No, NOOOO..not the...the...BUNNIES!!!!!
NightJade
Love,
Hi NightJade! As the last gentleman goth of this spooky world I have to admit that I put 'her' ahead of 'him' as well but this is not the point. I totally agree with your opinion of what makes you goth and what not. I just want to tell you that I am not tired of coming up with new and mean comments since I know that I am on a mission from God. Besides real goths like my site so that is reason enough for me to keep it going... And besides, as most of you (should) know this page is nothing but a big superhuman joke and a tribute to all the freaks out there (hallo Kafka).
Straylight
Draven wrote on April 15, 1998:
Subject: Congrats
Great site, Im glad someone is taking care of the posers now. Keep it
up. I have a big list you might want to look at later.
Yours,
Hi Draven! Thanks for liking and supporting my page! I am sure that there is still a major need for presenting these Goth Geese to the public as they give the word "goth" a bad connotation and make us real goths feel ashamed when being compared with them. Please send me the list so that I can give the Geese just what they deserve!
Straylight
