"1. If its a bad idea, I do it."
Like your homepage.

"2. If I do something, I do it with style and only when its funny."
Obviously you had a blackout while designing your homepage.

"6. There is no rule number six, as I am not a number I'm a free man!"
Well, on my Goth Goose site you are about number 62. But go on feeling free by following all your rules.

"9. Just because I am you friend, does not mean I won't go after your girlfriend."
You can't seriously think my girlfriend would want you! Poor loser, she got me and I bet she runs faster than you do.

"17. If I choose you as a friend, I will be the best friend you ever had."
I'm sure you would because I guess I would be the first and only friend you ever have. But sorry, my mom told me not to play with mucky kids.

"18. If you get on my bad side I will make you regret ever meeting me."
Spare me! I'm already sorry for finding your site.

"25. Just because I talk to you does not mean I consider you to be a friend."
That's of course the last thing in my life I wanted to be. If you need somebody to talk to go to your hairstylist.

"29. Just because you have told me about a traumatic experience in your life does not mean I care."
That sounds sensible because you could never care for all those poor souls which read your drivel.

"30. If its not worth remembering I don't remember it."
So we won't remember you then. Luckily!

"32. I am not a net.goth, I am just a goth who happens to be on the net. There is a difference."
The difference is that you will never be recognized by a community like net.goth.

"35. If you don't deserve sympathy, I won't give it to you."
I give a fuck on your sympathy.

"40. If you don't approve of what I do, well that's your problem, your opinion is of no importance to me."
Good for you because my opinion of you is devastating.

"41. If you can't be famous be infamous!"
If you can't be taken seriously act like a jerk.

"53. Fear is the mind killer and must be faced."
You are not Muad'dib! The Bene Gesserit laugh at you!

"Me, Cheesy? NEVER!"
You, moronic? ALWAYS!

Babe, you're old enough now to get your feet back on the ground so start thinking before writing and stop faking to be that cool and arrogant. And by the way, if you really don't care about people's opinion why do I find this helpless threat on your page:
"Some of my students have found and will find my page (namely two Steps fan's from Hella Manufacturing, you know who you are) and all I can say is this. You may laugh now, but just wait until your in *my* classroom...
May God have mercy upon your soul."?
I hope God won't have mercy upon YOUR soul!